Over the past few weeks I have been pondering on what the word unseen has meant to me. I have routinely found myself asking this question, “What do I accept as existing even though it remains unseen?” I think it would be fun to see how each of us would respond to this question. So I would like to ask you to take a moment to slow down and reflect on how you would answer this question with just one word, and then give a brief explanation.
The one word that comes to me as I write this post is “camera.” My mother and daughter, Lauren, are the picture takers in our family. And unfortunately, Mom misplaced her camera on Christmas Eve. If you have ever misplaced anything of importance, you know how frustrating it can become when you can not find or see what you have lost. What is most disturbing to my Mom is that the camera was loaded with hundreds of undeveloped pictures from a very recent trip to the South Pacific. So Lauren has been providing coverage for all the family photo shoots as we have pulled together in our continued search of the unseen camera. Mom remembers telling herself, “Put the camera up out of reach of the kids!” So even though we have looked in the high up places and now even the down low places as well, including all of the disgusting trash, the camera remains unseen and out of reach, at least for now. But I am hopeful that it will be seen when least expected.
The one word that came to me last week after seeing my doctor was “attack”. It had been one of those good news bad news scenarios. The good news was that the cancer called Waldenstrom’s had greatly diminished. The concerning news, was that there could be another type of cancer showing up. Upon hearing this update, I immediately thought about the supernatural world that is unseen. From a physical standpoint I was seeing the information that had been obtained from a variety of testing, but from a spiritual perspective I was also very aware of the unseen world that was influencing my report.
This got affirmed for me the next morning when I got a phone call from a relative who knew nothing about my doctor’s appointment. Here was the message, “Colleen, I woke up this morning and could hear in my spirit that you have been under attack. I saw an army of angels on white horses and they were fighting for you. It was like a civil war between the angels and the demons! And this was the Scripture that had been put on my heart for you, ‘Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.’ Ephesians 6:11.” I had spoken these same words to my daughter just an hour earlier in regards to some things she has been fighting and battling through!
Here is what I could see. The good news from my doctor was God answering all those prayers for medical wisdom and healing of the cancer. Even though God and His Holy Spirit are unseen, I can still see the evidence of His power. And because Satan exists in that unseen world as well, I could also see the evidence of how he wanted to steal, kill and destroy me as God’s Word tells me in John 10:10. Satan wanted to take any good news and overshadow it with the bad news! But here is the bottom line. God continues to tell me in John 10:10 that He came so that I could have life and have it to the fullest. My healing is not yet complete, but it is in the process of being COMPLETE and FULL, even though it is unseen.
2 Corinthians 4:18 says, “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal."
As you slow down to consider what exists in your own life that is unseen, I hope you will help me to "see" the "unseen" thoughts that you have by sharing them in the comments section of this posting in regards to that one word I asked you to reflect on earlier, and it's explanation. I also ask that you intercede on my mother’s behalf and ask for God’s guidance in helping Mom to remember where she placed her camera. Yes, God cares about all of the details of our lives, even those that involve an unseen camera, and I know there is a story that is connected to it being found!
December 28, 2011
December 20, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - Forgive Continued
Confession time: As I have studied, pondered, and written about this idea to forgive, it has been a very heavy and hard subject for me to address, especially in light of what our family is going through. For that reason, I decided to devote my thoughts and feelings to two postings rather than one.
To forgive means that there is a giving up or a letting go of any resentment, or the desire to punish. It is about pardoning, overlooking an offense, or cancelling a debt. Forgiveness is rooted in God. And it is God (not man) who tells me that the only way I can be forgiven is through my acceptance of Jesus Christ. Forgiveness is not about being worthy; especially when I look at it in light of all the wrong and hurt that I have imposed. Forgiveness is about God’s love for me. I may think that I deserve to be resented, punished, condemned, persecuted, and indebted, or put to death. But, no! God tells me that forgiveness is His gift of grace to me, His unmerited favor. There is nothing I can do to earn forgiveness. It is freely offered as a gift that I accept or reject through Jesus Christ. To put it simply; with forgiveness there is acceptance and peace, and without forgiveness there is separation and punishment. Once again, if we go back to the cross, we see this exact scenario being played out with the two criminals who were also being hung along with Jesus, one on each side of Him. Both criminals were dying just like Jesus, but one scoffs at Jesus and the other one proclaims victory through the Savior’s forgiveness. It is powerfully told in Luke 23:12 - 43.
Forgiveness has and always will be about God. God came into this world as a newborn baby boy. His divine purpose was to grow into the man who would die on a cross for all of humanity. He is the Only One who has ever carried my burden of sin in order to forgive me. He stepped into my life and took my place on that cross. He became the object of my resentment, the One who was punished, the One who would not be pardoned. He was treated as though He was the One who had committed all of my offenses and with a debt that could not be cancelled!
Because God is also the God of order, there is order to God’s plan of forgiveness. God’s first step to forgiveness required Jesus going to the cross for me. The second step requires me to admit to my sinful nature and ask Jesus to grant me the forgiveness that He has provided for me through His crucifixion. Jesus paid the penalty for all of my sins, but it is up to me to decide if I want to receive forgiveness. Forgiveness brings me into a relationship with God through Jesus. Through that relationship, God then teaches me how to forgive my self and others. God can never force me to do anything. It is why He gave me a free will. He wants me to choose. Without free will I would be a robot. If I choose to not ask Jesus to forgive me, that is my prerogative. It’s me saying that I like and accept the sin I am living in and where I am at with it. But here is the bottom line; there will never be victory or peace in that kind of thinking.
When I did a word study on “forgive,” I had no idea that I would be revisiting Joseph. You may recall that we talked about Joseph and his many victories a few weeks ago. I was pretty overwhelmed with emotion as I realized that the hand of the Holy Spirit was guiding me back to him. You see, when I originally looked up forgive in the glossary of my Bible and then in my concordance, I had anticipated that the first reference to forgive would be back in the Garden of Eden, following the Fall. Certainly, that is where the act of God’s forgiveness was originally introduced to us, but it is not where the word “forgive” is recorded for the first time in the Bible. It’s actually in the last chapter of Genesis. It reads like this in Genesis 50: 16-17, “So they sent this message to Joseph: “Before your father died, he instructed us to say to you, ‘Please forgive your brothers for the great wrong they did to you - for their sin in treating you so cruelly.’ So we, the servants of the God of your father, beg you to forgive our sin.” So, as I meet up with Joseph and his family once again, here are some things that I have gleaned about forgiveness as I have thought about my own family.
My family has been facing the after math of what has been a huge volcanic eruption of emotions. There have been similar eruptions in the past, but none of this magnitude. And when emotions are not talked about but acted out, like they were with Joseph’s brothers, those pent up emotions eventually spill over into anger, bitterness, and condemnation.
The aftermath from a real volcanic eruption has given me insight into how our family can most effectively respond with forgiveness to this explosive emotional volcano that we have encountered.
- Take time to clear out and clean up what has been affected by the fallen ash. Joseph took much needed time for doing this, and for him it started out by being in a pit. Our family also needs to take time to consider what needs to be cleared out and cleaned in how we relate to one another. We need to ask ourselves if we are committed to relationships that are safe, healthy, and edifying.
- Keep a safe distance while things cool down. Joseph did not reunite with his family for years! There may have to be distancing in our family in order for healing to take place.
- When revisiting a volcano, knowledge is your most important protection. In Joseph’s family, God used a famine to bring the family together. I pray that our family allow God to show us His protective timing (not ours) and use it as the barometer for our being reunited.
- Consult Authorities. Joseph knew all about authority. He knew God and he knew Pharaoh. Joseph became Pharaoh’s right hand man! I pray that our family will be open to the counsel of God’s Holy Spirit and the Godly wisdom of our trusted family and friends.
- Examine our history. Our past experience helps us to decide what has worked and what as not worked. Joseph met one obstacle after another with an attitude of forgiveness, and that consistently brought him victory, because he knew his boundaries. My family is one of the most forgiving families I have ever met. But this time we need to reexamine our boundaries and/or our lack of them and come up with new ones that will ultimately bring harmony.
Here is the one question that each person will ultimately have to answer for himself: Do I accept God, His love, and His forgiveness, or do I reject God, His love, and His forgiveness?
- To forgive is a personal choice. It can never be earned. It is freely given. It brings freedom, and it cleanses.
- Unforgiveness wants to fight, and it brews fear, guilt, and shame. It does not permit a loving relationship to take place.
- Forgiveness frees me from the bondage of constantly reminding my self of how I was abused.
- Unforgiveness keeps me in bondage.
- Forgiveness changes me but not necessarily you.
Joseph’s father and brothers were filled with fear and guilt over their wrongs and
this kept them from seeing Joseph’s actions of forgiveness. Therefore, my
forgiving actions can be misinterpreted by other family members. - Forgiveness does not mean that I am to spend time with someone who is not safe, healthy, or edifying.
In this season of Christmas may we all learn how to forgive through Jesus Christ.
December 7, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - Forgive
As my family goes through a very challenging and emotional time, the word forgive is constantly resonating in my spirit. In fact, when I look back over the past 17 years, I can say that forgiveness has been a pretty dominant theme for me. There have been numerous times when I have really wrestled with knowing how to walk out my decision to forgive another. In my head, I have known that I am to excuse another’s fault or offense against me. But, how does my heart convey love without feeling anger or resentment? How do I respond rather than react, especially when the offensive behavior remains a constant in my life? How do I demonstrate love?
The only way I have ever been able to grasp any kind of answer to these questions is to look to the cross for my Example. Jesus is the epitome of what it means to love and forgive in the midst of every kind of evil. I can not begin to comprehend or truly appreciate the agonizing and passionate position that Jesus assumed for all of mankind, but that is the kind of love that God has for each and every one of us. In the heat of the moment, and in the presence of my worst enemy, I do not feel like I want to forgive. But… it is the crucifixion that empowers me to do so!
God tells us in Romans 3:10 that we are all born as sinners. All of us have deeply hurt and offended God, and in turn, we have offended and hurt ourselves and each other. Not one of us is better than another. And despite all of our unloving actions, Jesus never stops loving us. He demonstrated that love by becoming the sacrificial lamb that always forgives you and me!
When I need to forgive, I know that I have to go to that cross. It is at the cross that I can hear Jesus saying these dying words to His Father, “Father, forgive these people because they do not know what they do.” (Luke 23:24). And then, like a mantra, I play those words over and over in my head so that I too can think more like Jesus, so that I can say, “Father, help me to forgive my offenders who do not know what they are doing.” When I think and speak those words I am being humbled. And I am reminded of when I did not know what I was doing. By taking on the mind-set of Jesus and believing in His Word, I am better prepared to avoid those feelings of hurt and anger. I can then put the burden of a relationship into God’s hands and depend on Him to show me how to think and love His way.
When I need to forgive, I also depend upon The Lord’s Prayer to guide me. It is the prayer that Jesus taught to His disciples so that they would know how to pray. When I say The Lord’s Prayer, it reinforces my need to forgive as Jesus directs me to do in Mark 6:12, “and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.” In my desire to be forgiven I must be willing to extend that forgiveness to another.
Please forgive me, you are going to be getting the rest of this Forgiveness Post next week!
The only way I have ever been able to grasp any kind of answer to these questions is to look to the cross for my Example. Jesus is the epitome of what it means to love and forgive in the midst of every kind of evil. I can not begin to comprehend or truly appreciate the agonizing and passionate position that Jesus assumed for all of mankind, but that is the kind of love that God has for each and every one of us. In the heat of the moment, and in the presence of my worst enemy, I do not feel like I want to forgive. But… it is the crucifixion that empowers me to do so!
God tells us in Romans 3:10 that we are all born as sinners. All of us have deeply hurt and offended God, and in turn, we have offended and hurt ourselves and each other. Not one of us is better than another. And despite all of our unloving actions, Jesus never stops loving us. He demonstrated that love by becoming the sacrificial lamb that always forgives you and me!
When I need to forgive, I know that I have to go to that cross. It is at the cross that I can hear Jesus saying these dying words to His Father, “Father, forgive these people because they do not know what they do.” (Luke 23:24). And then, like a mantra, I play those words over and over in my head so that I too can think more like Jesus, so that I can say, “Father, help me to forgive my offenders who do not know what they are doing.” When I think and speak those words I am being humbled. And I am reminded of when I did not know what I was doing. By taking on the mind-set of Jesus and believing in His Word, I am better prepared to avoid those feelings of hurt and anger. I can then put the burden of a relationship into God’s hands and depend on Him to show me how to think and love His way.
When I need to forgive, I also depend upon The Lord’s Prayer to guide me. It is the prayer that Jesus taught to His disciples so that they would know how to pray. When I say The Lord’s Prayer, it reinforces my need to forgive as Jesus directs me to do in Mark 6:12, “and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.” In my desire to be forgiven I must be willing to extend that forgiveness to another.
Please forgive me, you are going to be getting the rest of this Forgiveness Post next week!
November 30, 2011
Red Wednesday's Widsom - Victory
You may find yourself in the midst of:
A blended family,
Sibling rivalry,
Favoritism,
Partiality,
Hatred,
Unkindness,
Jealousy,
Slavery,
Murderous schemes,
Lies,
The pit,
Suffering,
Secrecy,
Guilt,
Betrayal,
Grief,
Sorrow,
Manipulation,
Fabrications,
Imaginations,
Being sold out,
Falsely accused,
Abused,
A broken heart,
Trickery,
Selfishness,
Being Forgotten,
Famine,
Hauntings,
Dishonesty,
Pain,
Bitterness,
Testing,
Trials,
Set ups, or
Troubles,
BUT……there is VICTORY!
In the book of Genesis, chapter 37, we are introduced to Joseph who is the 17 year old son to Jacob. To many of us, this Joseph is best known for owning the coat of many colors. And as you reviewed the numerous hardships that are listed above, you may have been reminded of what you have personally experienced in one, or many of these kinds of circumstances. In Joseph’s world, he had encountered ALL of them! In just 10 short chapters, from Genesis 37 to Genesis 47, we catch a glimpse of what seems like a never ending struggle that Joseph endured over a span of some 20 years. But, there was victory in and through all of it!
Webster defines victory as the overcoming of an enemy or antagonist. And if I want to know how victory is defined from God’s perspective, I can find it in just one Scripture that is only one sentence long. It is in 1 Corinthians15:57, “How we thank God, who gives us victory over sin and death through Jesus Christ our Lord.” As I contemplate on these words, I am moved by their simplicity. Victory is synonymous with the Person of God, who is Jesus Christ. Jesus is the only God and only Person who has defeated sin and death on my behalf, your behalf, and yes, even Joseph’s behalf! In Genesis 39:2 it says, “The Lord was with Joseph and blessed him greatly as he served in the home of his Egyptian master. Potipher noticed this and realized that the Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did.”
In my own life, I have realized that the enemy or antagonist has taken on many disguises. The attacks are not just a matter of sin’s sole existence, but they are also the result of the choices that I or others have chosen to make. In the enemy’s desire to kill, steal, or destroy me, I am so grateful for the many victories that have been, and are being celebrated. I also know that there are many victories yet to be seen. I have learned that victory is seldom quick in coming. Often times it is an on- going process that is achieved in small accomplishments and small battles. Victory rarely has a clear beginning or a finite ending, and it usually comes at a very high cost that can be emotional, financial, psychological, spiritual, physical, and relational. And because Jesus is the One who always points me in the direction of victory, I am constantly reminded of the cost that was literally at stake for Him, which was death on a cross.
In the NIV translation, victory is described like this in Psalm 60:12, “With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies.” And in the Life Recovery Bible this Scripture translates as follows, “With God’s help we will do mighty things, for he will trample down our foes.”
Over the past 6 weeks, my daughter Lauren has been sharing with me how she has been consistently speaking victory into the big, and even small battles that her brother Brent has been fighting through and winning. And as a result, this word victory has really gotten a hold of my heart. Consequently, I have begun praying for my son in a new way, by applying 1 Corinthians 15:57. This is my prayer, “Lord, I have always been so thankful for the precious son You have given me, knowing that he has been Your loving son way before he was ever mine. I continuously thank You for answering our prayer when we asked that Brent would choose You as His Lord and Savior. Thank You for the forgiveness You give to all of us every moment of every day, and thank You for being the constant power source for victory in his life, and ours!”
This past Sunday I attended Lauren and Craig’s church. We sang a song that I had never heard, the words touched a cord for me and Lauren the minute we heard them. I want to share these lyrics with you as you fight through whatever challenges you may be facing:
A blended family,
Sibling rivalry,
Favoritism,
Partiality,
Hatred,
Unkindness,
Jealousy,
Slavery,
Murderous schemes,
Lies,
The pit,
Suffering,
Secrecy,
Guilt,
Betrayal,
Grief,
Sorrow,
Manipulation,
Fabrications,
Imaginations,
Being sold out,
Falsely accused,
Abused,
A broken heart,
Trickery,
Selfishness,
Being Forgotten,
Famine,
Hauntings,
Dishonesty,
Pain,
Bitterness,
Testing,
Trials,
Set ups, or
Troubles,
BUT……there is VICTORY!
In the book of Genesis, chapter 37, we are introduced to Joseph who is the 17 year old son to Jacob. To many of us, this Joseph is best known for owning the coat of many colors. And as you reviewed the numerous hardships that are listed above, you may have been reminded of what you have personally experienced in one, or many of these kinds of circumstances. In Joseph’s world, he had encountered ALL of them! In just 10 short chapters, from Genesis 37 to Genesis 47, we catch a glimpse of what seems like a never ending struggle that Joseph endured over a span of some 20 years. But, there was victory in and through all of it!
Webster defines victory as the overcoming of an enemy or antagonist. And if I want to know how victory is defined from God’s perspective, I can find it in just one Scripture that is only one sentence long. It is in 1 Corinthians15:57, “How we thank God, who gives us victory over sin and death through Jesus Christ our Lord.” As I contemplate on these words, I am moved by their simplicity. Victory is synonymous with the Person of God, who is Jesus Christ. Jesus is the only God and only Person who has defeated sin and death on my behalf, your behalf, and yes, even Joseph’s behalf! In Genesis 39:2 it says, “The Lord was with Joseph and blessed him greatly as he served in the home of his Egyptian master. Potipher noticed this and realized that the Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did.”
In my own life, I have realized that the enemy or antagonist has taken on many disguises. The attacks are not just a matter of sin’s sole existence, but they are also the result of the choices that I or others have chosen to make. In the enemy’s desire to kill, steal, or destroy me, I am so grateful for the many victories that have been, and are being celebrated. I also know that there are many victories yet to be seen. I have learned that victory is seldom quick in coming. Often times it is an on- going process that is achieved in small accomplishments and small battles. Victory rarely has a clear beginning or a finite ending, and it usually comes at a very high cost that can be emotional, financial, psychological, spiritual, physical, and relational. And because Jesus is the One who always points me in the direction of victory, I am constantly reminded of the cost that was literally at stake for Him, which was death on a cross.
In the NIV translation, victory is described like this in Psalm 60:12, “With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies.” And in the Life Recovery Bible this Scripture translates as follows, “With God’s help we will do mighty things, for he will trample down our foes.”
Over the past 6 weeks, my daughter Lauren has been sharing with me how she has been consistently speaking victory into the big, and even small battles that her brother Brent has been fighting through and winning. And as a result, this word victory has really gotten a hold of my heart. Consequently, I have begun praying for my son in a new way, by applying 1 Corinthians 15:57. This is my prayer, “Lord, I have always been so thankful for the precious son You have given me, knowing that he has been Your loving son way before he was ever mine. I continuously thank You for answering our prayer when we asked that Brent would choose You as His Lord and Savior. Thank You for the forgiveness You give to all of us every moment of every day, and thank You for being the constant power source for victory in his life, and ours!”
This past Sunday I attended Lauren and Craig’s church. We sang a song that I had never heard, the words touched a cord for me and Lauren the minute we heard them. I want to share these lyrics with you as you fight through whatever challenges you may be facing:
“Kneeling on this battleground… knowing every victory was Your power in us.”
Brent's "V" for victory, knowing it's one day at a time.
November 23, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - Attitude
One of my most memorable life lessons has to do with my attitude. The classroom setting was behind the steering wheel of my car. I had looked into my rear view mirror and could see a red pick up truck speeding and cutting off every vehicle in its way. As the driver approached my back end, leaving only inches between us, I armored myself with an attitude of entitlement. In my head I was thinking, “You won’t do to me what you have done to everyone else!” My thinking then provoked me to feeling anger towards this reckless driver. And as a result, I reacted by displaying a hand signed message that required only one finger! The driver then immediately pulled up along side of me, decelerated, and stared at me with his threatening gaze. It was as if I had come face to face with one of those very frightening characters from the 1978 movie called The Deer Hunter. As he hit the pedal to the metal and cut in front of me, I got a visual that cured me of any further attitude of road entitlement or finger signaling. Racked behind his opened back widow were his secured rifles. Their barrels could have easily been aimed for me or anyone else at any time!
When I talk about attitude, I describe it as the behavior that mirrors what I am thinking and feeling. If I could replay the above scenario from 30 years ago, knowing what I know today, my thinking, feeling and behavior would be more representative of what God has taught me, rather than what the world has taught me. Through God’s Word, I have learned the importance of ALWAYS valuing an attitude of gratitude. 1Thessalonians 5:18 tells me, “Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” But I also have to be honest and admit that there are times when it can be a real struggle for me to have a thankful attitude in ALL things, ALL circumstances, and ALL situations.
Living with an attitude of gratitude means that I have to slow myself down so I can respond to life rather than react to it. It means that I take the time to yield to God’s will and obey what His Word tells me. When I retrieve the words that come from God’s mouth, rather than my mouth, my thinking becomes His thinking. And because my thinking has been renewed, so are my feelings, behavior, and attitude.
When I revisit the man in his truck, here is how I would hope for it to play out for me if it had happened today. I would want my thoughts, feelings, behavior, and attitude to be reflective of God’s instruction from 1Thessalonians 5:18: “Lord, as I see that truck weaving in an out of traffic, I thank you for being the Joy in my life. Thank you for giving me the eyes to see the potential danger that is behind me. And please cover all of us in your protective love and give us wisdom to avoid any kind of catastrophe.”
In this reenactment my thinking is not focused on fighting someone. The fight is replaced with an immediate turn and surrender to God, and then asking Him for everyone’s safety, including the driver’s! Instead of anger being the feeling, it is replaced with the feeling of joy. My attitude is not entitlement, it has become thankfulness.
In the mid to late 1990’s, I routinely listened to Charles Swindoll’s teaching on Christian radio. His program still runs and is called Insight for Living. “Chuck” is a pastor, author, educator, and preacher. I have always treasured his writing on attitude that I received more than 10 years ago. It has often been used in the Clutter Healing Classes. Two weeks ago I was asking the Lord to let me know if I was to include Chuck’s piece on attitude for this posting. As I was flipping through the radio stations one evening, I heard Chuck’s voice and tuned in. I could hardly believe my ears, Chuck was doing his teaching on attitude! So here it is.
When I talk about attitude, I describe it as the behavior that mirrors what I am thinking and feeling. If I could replay the above scenario from 30 years ago, knowing what I know today, my thinking, feeling and behavior would be more representative of what God has taught me, rather than what the world has taught me. Through God’s Word, I have learned the importance of ALWAYS valuing an attitude of gratitude. 1Thessalonians 5:18 tells me, “Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” But I also have to be honest and admit that there are times when it can be a real struggle for me to have a thankful attitude in ALL things, ALL circumstances, and ALL situations.
Living with an attitude of gratitude means that I have to slow myself down so I can respond to life rather than react to it. It means that I take the time to yield to God’s will and obey what His Word tells me. When I retrieve the words that come from God’s mouth, rather than my mouth, my thinking becomes His thinking. And because my thinking has been renewed, so are my feelings, behavior, and attitude.
When I revisit the man in his truck, here is how I would hope for it to play out for me if it had happened today. I would want my thoughts, feelings, behavior, and attitude to be reflective of God’s instruction from 1Thessalonians 5:18: “Lord, as I see that truck weaving in an out of traffic, I thank you for being the Joy in my life. Thank you for giving me the eyes to see the potential danger that is behind me. And please cover all of us in your protective love and give us wisdom to avoid any kind of catastrophe.”
In this reenactment my thinking is not focused on fighting someone. The fight is replaced with an immediate turn and surrender to God, and then asking Him for everyone’s safety, including the driver’s! Instead of anger being the feeling, it is replaced with the feeling of joy. My attitude is not entitlement, it has become thankfulness.
In the mid to late 1990’s, I routinely listened to Charles Swindoll’s teaching on Christian radio. His program still runs and is called Insight for Living. “Chuck” is a pastor, author, educator, and preacher. I have always treasured his writing on attitude that I received more than 10 years ago. It has often been used in the Clutter Healing Classes. Two weeks ago I was asking the Lord to let me know if I was to include Chuck’s piece on attitude for this posting. As I was flipping through the radio stations one evening, I heard Chuck’s voice and tuned in. I could hardly believe my ears, Chuck was doing his teaching on attitude! So here it is.
Attitude
The longer I live,
the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me, is more important than fact.
It is more important than the past,
than education, than money, than circumstances,
than failures, than successes,
than what other people say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
It will make or break a company…a church…a home.
The remarkable thing is that we have a choice everyday
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We can not change our past.
We can not change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play
on the one string we have, and that is attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you.
We are in charge of our attitudes.
the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me, is more important than fact.
It is more important than the past,
than education, than money, than circumstances,
than failures, than successes,
than what other people say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
It will make or break a company…a church…a home.
The remarkable thing is that we have a choice everyday
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We can not change our past.
We can not change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play
on the one string we have, and that is attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you.
We are in charge of our attitudes.
-Chuck Swindoll-
May you be blessed with an attitude of gratitude this Thanksgiving,
and all your days to follow.
and all your days to follow.
November 16, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - Home
As I was preparing to leave my home in Cincinnati and travel to my “home” in Florida, I shared with my son Brent, that I felt lead to write about home in my next blog posting. His immediate response was, “Home is family, Mom!” His comment reflected what I had always hoped my children would learn as they were growing up: home is wherever we come together as family. But through the years, and especially through my relationship with the Lord, He has taught me that home means so much more.
The word home is not consistently found in the Bible, the words house and temple are more commonly found in its place. In my research, I discovered that the Hebrew word for home is bayit. And particularly in the Old Testament, bayit has a much broader translation to mean a house, household, dwelling place, or temple. In the New Testament the word home is more commonly derived from the Greek word oikos, which also refers to a house, dwelling, or household, but it also includes family. It can also be thought of as the body that houses the soul. This last translation reminds me of what God’s Word says in 1 Corinthians 6:19, “Or don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you, and was given to you by God?” When I think about how encompassing the Hebrew word bayit and oikos are, I recognize how abundantly blessed I am with all the homes that God has given me: my immediate family, my extended family, my family of friends, my family of believers, my house, my church, my body, and my eternal heavenly home!!!
As I ponder on this idea of home, I am sensitive to the fact that our thoughts and feelings are not always warm and fuzzy. We can struggle with all kinds of hurts that clutter our relationships in our families, like criticism, judging, negativity, and addictions. This past Sunday when I attended Mass with my parents, I kept meditating on the verses that I heard in the gospel reading from 1 Thessalonians 5:1-11. These verses spoke to me about the cause of those struggles in our realtionships and why they challenge us. It really boils down to whether we are living in the light or living in the darkness. The question I always have to be asking myself is this: “Do I make the decision to follow the light of Christ or do I decide to reject His light and stay in the darkness?” 1 Thessalonians 5:11, tells me how to be that light in my home and in my family, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing!”
Ten years ago, the following prayer was submitted to me by a class participant who was inspired to share what he had learned about "home" from my 14 week Clutter Healing Class. I hope your eyes, ears, and hearts will be blessed by this prayer.
The word home is not consistently found in the Bible, the words house and temple are more commonly found in its place. In my research, I discovered that the Hebrew word for home is bayit. And particularly in the Old Testament, bayit has a much broader translation to mean a house, household, dwelling place, or temple. In the New Testament the word home is more commonly derived from the Greek word oikos, which also refers to a house, dwelling, or household, but it also includes family. It can also be thought of as the body that houses the soul. This last translation reminds me of what God’s Word says in 1 Corinthians 6:19, “Or don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you, and was given to you by God?” When I think about how encompassing the Hebrew word bayit and oikos are, I recognize how abundantly blessed I am with all the homes that God has given me: my immediate family, my extended family, my family of friends, my family of believers, my house, my church, my body, and my eternal heavenly home!!!
As I ponder on this idea of home, I am sensitive to the fact that our thoughts and feelings are not always warm and fuzzy. We can struggle with all kinds of hurts that clutter our relationships in our families, like criticism, judging, negativity, and addictions. This past Sunday when I attended Mass with my parents, I kept meditating on the verses that I heard in the gospel reading from 1 Thessalonians 5:1-11. These verses spoke to me about the cause of those struggles in our realtionships and why they challenge us. It really boils down to whether we are living in the light or living in the darkness. The question I always have to be asking myself is this: “Do I make the decision to follow the light of Christ or do I decide to reject His light and stay in the darkness?” 1 Thessalonians 5:11, tells me how to be that light in my home and in my family, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing!”
Ten years ago, the following prayer was submitted to me by a class participant who was inspired to share what he had learned about "home" from my 14 week Clutter Healing Class. I hope your eyes, ears, and hearts will be blessed by this prayer.
A Prayer for Coming Home
O True and Ever –living God
I repent of all my false and empty gods
I look again into the closets of my life
my mind, my heart
to see what rules me.
Whom do I serve?
What are the possessions,
the people,
the opinions,
the events,
that control my life?
O Welcoming One
I see you standing at the door
of my heart
waiting for me
You gaze at my strange gods
with an eye of compassion.
I am ashamed to invite You
into my cluttered house
yet my heart aches
to be at home with you.
My hand is reaching for the door
I hear myself saying, Come on in
I have more room than I thought I had
Come on in, and be the only God in my life.
May this moment of homecoming last forever.
O True and Ever –living God
I repent of all my false and empty gods
I look again into the closets of my life
my mind, my heart
to see what rules me.
Whom do I serve?
What are the possessions,
the people,
the opinions,
the events,
that control my life?
O Welcoming One
I see you standing at the door
of my heart
waiting for me
You gaze at my strange gods
with an eye of compassion.
I am ashamed to invite You
into my cluttered house
yet my heart aches
to be at home with you.
My hand is reaching for the door
I hear myself saying, Come on in
I have more room than I thought I had
Come on in, and be the only God in my life.
May this moment of homecoming last forever.
This prayer also takes me back to the promise I received years ago from the Lord, when I was praying for the salvation of ALL my family. The promise is in Acts 16:31, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with your entire household.” I can not tell you how many times I have tightly held on to the hope in those words, particularly when life has appeared so hopeless. Today I can say with thankfulness that I am witnessing that promise being fulfilled. More than anything else in the world, I want my family to be with me in the heavenly home that I am going to live in forever!
I’ll wrap up this week with a song that has always touched my heart in regards to this idea of “home.” I have always been moved by the music of Michael W. Smith, and especially the song he wrote that is called, I’ll Lead You Home. I use it in my clutter healing classes to remind us that God wants to be the One who will always lead us, and our "stuff," home. All we have to do is to ask Him into our lives! I never tire from hearing this song’s message.
I’ll wrap up this week with a song that has always touched my heart in regards to this idea of “home.” I have always been moved by the music of Michael W. Smith, and especially the song he wrote that is called, I’ll Lead You Home. I use it in my clutter healing classes to remind us that God wants to be the One who will always lead us, and our "stuff," home. All we have to do is to ask Him into our lives! I never tire from hearing this song’s message.
November 9, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - Shade
Two weeks ago, I made a trip to beautiful Wilmington, Ohio. I saw my dear friend Jeanne, and finally got to meet her friend, Kris. Jeanne often told me that Kris was a powerful prayer warrior. So when I got the diagnosis of cancer, we made plans for all of us to meet and have Kris go to war for me in prayer. I was so blessed by our time together. I came away with a deep appreciation for how God uses each of us in similar and yet unique and different ways, especially when He wants to speak to us on a very personal and intimate level.
Kris knew very little about me until we met. She said that she preferred it that way. It kept her more objective and open to the Holy Spirit’s prompting rather than being subject to her own interpretations. What Kris received for me in her prayer time actually took place prior to our arrival. After spending some time in getting to know each other, she started out by saying, “The Lord is your shade on your right hand.” I never thought about that before. What did it mean? She went on to explain that shade came out of her devotional time from Sarah Horby’s book, At the Name of Jesus. Reference was made to the shade in Isaiah 4:4-6; “Then the Lord will wash the filth from beautiful Zion. And cleanse Jerusalem of its bloodstains with the hot breath of fiery judgment. Then the Lord will provide shade for Mount Zion and all who assemble there. He will provide a canopy of cloud during the day and smoke and flaming fire at night, covering the glorious land. It will be a shelter from daytime heat and a hiding place from storms and rain.”
Kris went on to say that this shade was not the shade of darkness that I have been so familiar with in my own life. No, this shade was like the color green, and to Kris it was reflective of her homeland of England where there are no trees for shading. She said it was not the shade of Cincinnati where you often experience rain, coolness and darkness, which is exactly how it looks as I write this posting! Kris wanted me to know this basic message: the shade of my past is not the shade of my today. The shade of today represents a new and fresh approach to how I am to live in the present. There was such richness in what I took away from just hearing about this one word and what it would mean to me.
When I first heard the word “shade,” I was immediately taken back to a memory. It was the spring of 2010 and I was feeling pretty drained from a chronic upper respiratory infection. I also had severe congestion and blockage of my sinuses and ears. I knew nothing about the cancer that was growing inside of me. But after teaching one of my clutter healing classes, I asked my partners, those who help me in the classes, if they would pray for me. I was hoping to gain some insight into the spiritual root of my symptoms. In our praying, I was taken to the story of my all too familiar and stubborn friend, Jonah. We were reflecting on Jonah 4. In a nutshell, Jonah, once again, wants his way over God’s way. When he can’t have what he wants he tells God to kill him! The story tells about a leafy plant that God provided for Jonah to shade him from the sun. When a worm destroyed the plant and took away the shade that exposed Jonah to the scorching sun, he got angry and wanted to die.
For a year and a half I have been so puzzled by this story and its meaning for me. There were many times in my past when God used Jonah to address my own anger and my desire to have things my way. But this time, when I thought about those issues, I could see the growth and healing that I had experienced. So there was something else that God wanted me to glean from this story, but what was it????
I have come to realize that the shade in Jonah, and now in Isaiah, is a comparison about where I have been and where I am. As is reflective in Isaiah 4:4-6, God has literally been cleaning me out. Physically, my symptoms are lessening or have completely gone away. The filth of this cancer in my bone marrow has been cleansed by the Rituxan. From a spiritual perspective, I now understand that the shade is about God’s protection of me at all times, regardless of my circumstances or how things may appear to the visible eye. And as Kris said to me, “Colleen, the Lord knows how life has burned you and scorched you by the shaded shadows of darkness, and that is your past, but now He wants you to refocus on the shade of His protection, His provision, and His shelter.”
The word shade is defined by Webster as comparative darkness, which is caused by an object cutting off rays of light. It can also be an open area that is sheltered from sunlight, or it can be a secluded place, or a spirit.
From a spiritual perspective, I now see how those symptoms from 18 months ago were reflective of the darkness that is in this world that wants to cut me off from experiencing the light of God. I now realize that the part I overlooked in Jonah was the part where Jonah wants God to kill him. That is a pretty dark place to be in and God’s light can seem very dim. Here is what I did not recognize about myself, prior to my diagnosis of cancer. There have been times in my past when I have said that I am ready to die. It wasn’t out of anger or not getting my way like Jonah, but the feeling was still being expressed. I apologized to God and said, “Please forgive me for the times when I said that I was ready to die, or when I joked and said, You can take me at any time!” I now know that I am ready to die from the spiritual perspective of knowing Jesus, and knowing I am going to be with Him when I leave this earth. But, when I made those comments, it was because I was operating from a physical and fleshly perspective, I wanted to escape any further pain or suffering, just like Jonah. I too was tired of being burned and scorched.
“The Lord is your shade on your right hand”. When studying these words I found them in Psalm 121:5 and I thought about God always being beside me, like my Body Guard. He is my power, my strength, and my shield at all times! Nothing can harm me! He is my shelter and my protection. Nothing can separate me from Him!
Here is the truth about what I have learned about myself. I am ready to die, but I still want to live. I still want to experience ALL that God still has for me. Cancer is one of those words that immediately turns our thoughts towards death when we hear it spoken. For me, when I now hear it or speak it, I want to hear and speak life! Shade has a new meaning for me. It means life and it means that I picture God at my side as my personal Body Guard!
Kris knew very little about me until we met. She said that she preferred it that way. It kept her more objective and open to the Holy Spirit’s prompting rather than being subject to her own interpretations. What Kris received for me in her prayer time actually took place prior to our arrival. After spending some time in getting to know each other, she started out by saying, “The Lord is your shade on your right hand.” I never thought about that before. What did it mean? She went on to explain that shade came out of her devotional time from Sarah Horby’s book, At the Name of Jesus. Reference was made to the shade in Isaiah 4:4-6; “Then the Lord will wash the filth from beautiful Zion. And cleanse Jerusalem of its bloodstains with the hot breath of fiery judgment. Then the Lord will provide shade for Mount Zion and all who assemble there. He will provide a canopy of cloud during the day and smoke and flaming fire at night, covering the glorious land. It will be a shelter from daytime heat and a hiding place from storms and rain.”
Kris went on to say that this shade was not the shade of darkness that I have been so familiar with in my own life. No, this shade was like the color green, and to Kris it was reflective of her homeland of England where there are no trees for shading. She said it was not the shade of Cincinnati where you often experience rain, coolness and darkness, which is exactly how it looks as I write this posting! Kris wanted me to know this basic message: the shade of my past is not the shade of my today. The shade of today represents a new and fresh approach to how I am to live in the present. There was such richness in what I took away from just hearing about this one word and what it would mean to me.
When I first heard the word “shade,” I was immediately taken back to a memory. It was the spring of 2010 and I was feeling pretty drained from a chronic upper respiratory infection. I also had severe congestion and blockage of my sinuses and ears. I knew nothing about the cancer that was growing inside of me. But after teaching one of my clutter healing classes, I asked my partners, those who help me in the classes, if they would pray for me. I was hoping to gain some insight into the spiritual root of my symptoms. In our praying, I was taken to the story of my all too familiar and stubborn friend, Jonah. We were reflecting on Jonah 4. In a nutshell, Jonah, once again, wants his way over God’s way. When he can’t have what he wants he tells God to kill him! The story tells about a leafy plant that God provided for Jonah to shade him from the sun. When a worm destroyed the plant and took away the shade that exposed Jonah to the scorching sun, he got angry and wanted to die.
For a year and a half I have been so puzzled by this story and its meaning for me. There were many times in my past when God used Jonah to address my own anger and my desire to have things my way. But this time, when I thought about those issues, I could see the growth and healing that I had experienced. So there was something else that God wanted me to glean from this story, but what was it????
I have come to realize that the shade in Jonah, and now in Isaiah, is a comparison about where I have been and where I am. As is reflective in Isaiah 4:4-6, God has literally been cleaning me out. Physically, my symptoms are lessening or have completely gone away. The filth of this cancer in my bone marrow has been cleansed by the Rituxan. From a spiritual perspective, I now understand that the shade is about God’s protection of me at all times, regardless of my circumstances or how things may appear to the visible eye. And as Kris said to me, “Colleen, the Lord knows how life has burned you and scorched you by the shaded shadows of darkness, and that is your past, but now He wants you to refocus on the shade of His protection, His provision, and His shelter.”
The word shade is defined by Webster as comparative darkness, which is caused by an object cutting off rays of light. It can also be an open area that is sheltered from sunlight, or it can be a secluded place, or a spirit.
From a spiritual perspective, I now see how those symptoms from 18 months ago were reflective of the darkness that is in this world that wants to cut me off from experiencing the light of God. I now realize that the part I overlooked in Jonah was the part where Jonah wants God to kill him. That is a pretty dark place to be in and God’s light can seem very dim. Here is what I did not recognize about myself, prior to my diagnosis of cancer. There have been times in my past when I have said that I am ready to die. It wasn’t out of anger or not getting my way like Jonah, but the feeling was still being expressed. I apologized to God and said, “Please forgive me for the times when I said that I was ready to die, or when I joked and said, You can take me at any time!” I now know that I am ready to die from the spiritual perspective of knowing Jesus, and knowing I am going to be with Him when I leave this earth. But, when I made those comments, it was because I was operating from a physical and fleshly perspective, I wanted to escape any further pain or suffering, just like Jonah. I too was tired of being burned and scorched.
“The Lord is your shade on your right hand”. When studying these words I found them in Psalm 121:5 and I thought about God always being beside me, like my Body Guard. He is my power, my strength, and my shield at all times! Nothing can harm me! He is my shelter and my protection. Nothing can separate me from Him!
Here is the truth about what I have learned about myself. I am ready to die, but I still want to live. I still want to experience ALL that God still has for me. Cancer is one of those words that immediately turns our thoughts towards death when we hear it spoken. For me, when I now hear it or speak it, I want to hear and speak life! Shade has a new meaning for me. It means life and it means that I picture God at my side as my personal Body Guard!
This picture was taken by my friend Melissa as we were resting and bathing in the warm fall sun. I was so surprised when we viewed the picture she had taken. It was depicting this week’s theme about shade and a reminder to me of Psalm 121:5, “The Lord is your shade on your right hand.” I thank You, Lord, for being so visibly present in my life through Your Holy Spirit!
November 2, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - Letting Go
In my Home Touched business and ministry, we focus on getting organized and learning to let go of the “stuff” that can enslave us rather than serve us. And sometimes it means asking myself the tough question, “what do I need versus what do I want?” Please keep in mind that the “stuff” I am referring to is much more than just our material possessions, it is also mental, emotional, situational, spiritual, physical, and relational.
Letting go is a daily ongoing process for me. And the area where I have been most recently challenged with it has been in launching this blog. Truth be told, I recognize that I am in a lifelong recovery process of letting go about the worry that relates to what others might say or think about me. In fact, when I am helping others to get decluttered, which I define as the letting go process, it means that I also let go of hiding the real me, and admit to my own struggles as I help you to let go of yours. It is one thing to know that I am not perfect, but when I share and expose my imperfections with others, I am being authentic. I do this because I want to convey the message that you and I are on the same playing field and we are more alike than different. I am not better than you and you are not any better than I.
So, in working with one of my clients and friends, Dan Busken (who gave me permission to use his name), I shared my concern about the blog. I was most burdened by how the blog would communicate my performance as a writer. This was the honest and raw struggle that was brewing inside of me because I could not control the constraints that go with writing, designing, and formatting a blog. I do not have the control that I have in a Word document where I am the final writer, formatter, and designer. Consequently, all these questions were hitting me! How many mistakes will there be? Who will judge it? Who will criticize it? Did I say too much? Did I say too little? Who will like it? Who will not like it? Will I be accepted? Will I be rejected? Talk about the clutter I created from the build up and pile up of all that “stuff’’ that was going on in my head and in my heart!!! But in my spirit it was a very different scenario. All I heard was this quiet and simple response, “This blog is not about you and your performance. It is about Me and the message I want others to get through you!” That response gave me the peace I needed to launch the blog, and let go of all those concerns that wanted to bring me down.
In preparing to write this particular posting, I prayed and asked the Lord to provide me a Scripture that would affirm this theme of letting go. I also wanted to know if my concerns about blogging were to be shared as examples of my own need to let go. I no sooner made that request and a text came through from Dan. It simply said, “Galatians 1:10. Good for new bloggers like you.” I was taken by the “quickening” of God’s response and I was surprised that it was Dan who was giving me the message. This was the first time that he had ever sent me a Scripture and the reason for it. With excitement, I ran to my Bible and opened Galatians 1:10. Here is what it says, “Obviously I am not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” These words were written by the apostle Paul, and what a man to identify with. Every time I see the beautiful damask border of the blog site I am reminded of Paul, and here he is again! What God had been speaking to me in His Spirit was now matched up in His Word. I had my green light to move forward.
When I saw Dan and thanked him for the text, he said, “I apologize for the delay. I wanted to send this to you a week ago!” I responded, “It may have been your 'delay' but it was God’s perfect timing for me!”
Blogging is a new venture for me: new learning skills are yet to be developed. And as I continue to discover what I still need to let go of and what I still need to hold on to, I am thankful that my relationship with God is renewed and refreshed with every day. In letting go, it may not be what I want, but it is what I need!
I love sharing the handouts that I have received over the past 11 years. They come from people who have taken my clutter healing classes. The handouts reflect what people have taken away from the classroom and what they came back wanting to share. Here is an example of one that was written anonymously about letting go.
Letting go is a daily ongoing process for me. And the area where I have been most recently challenged with it has been in launching this blog. Truth be told, I recognize that I am in a lifelong recovery process of letting go about the worry that relates to what others might say or think about me. In fact, when I am helping others to get decluttered, which I define as the letting go process, it means that I also let go of hiding the real me, and admit to my own struggles as I help you to let go of yours. It is one thing to know that I am not perfect, but when I share and expose my imperfections with others, I am being authentic. I do this because I want to convey the message that you and I are on the same playing field and we are more alike than different. I am not better than you and you are not any better than I.
So, in working with one of my clients and friends, Dan Busken (who gave me permission to use his name), I shared my concern about the blog. I was most burdened by how the blog would communicate my performance as a writer. This was the honest and raw struggle that was brewing inside of me because I could not control the constraints that go with writing, designing, and formatting a blog. I do not have the control that I have in a Word document where I am the final writer, formatter, and designer. Consequently, all these questions were hitting me! How many mistakes will there be? Who will judge it? Who will criticize it? Did I say too much? Did I say too little? Who will like it? Who will not like it? Will I be accepted? Will I be rejected? Talk about the clutter I created from the build up and pile up of all that “stuff’’ that was going on in my head and in my heart!!! But in my spirit it was a very different scenario. All I heard was this quiet and simple response, “This blog is not about you and your performance. It is about Me and the message I want others to get through you!” That response gave me the peace I needed to launch the blog, and let go of all those concerns that wanted to bring me down.
In preparing to write this particular posting, I prayed and asked the Lord to provide me a Scripture that would affirm this theme of letting go. I also wanted to know if my concerns about blogging were to be shared as examples of my own need to let go. I no sooner made that request and a text came through from Dan. It simply said, “Galatians 1:10. Good for new bloggers like you.” I was taken by the “quickening” of God’s response and I was surprised that it was Dan who was giving me the message. This was the first time that he had ever sent me a Scripture and the reason for it. With excitement, I ran to my Bible and opened Galatians 1:10. Here is what it says, “Obviously I am not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” These words were written by the apostle Paul, and what a man to identify with. Every time I see the beautiful damask border of the blog site I am reminded of Paul, and here he is again! What God had been speaking to me in His Spirit was now matched up in His Word. I had my green light to move forward.
When I saw Dan and thanked him for the text, he said, “I apologize for the delay. I wanted to send this to you a week ago!” I responded, “It may have been your 'delay' but it was God’s perfect timing for me!”
Blogging is a new venture for me: new learning skills are yet to be developed. And as I continue to discover what I still need to let go of and what I still need to hold on to, I am thankful that my relationship with God is renewed and refreshed with every day. In letting go, it may not be what I want, but it is what I need!
I love sharing the handouts that I have received over the past 11 years. They come from people who have taken my clutter healing classes. The handouts reflect what people have taken away from the classroom and what they came back wanting to share. Here is an example of one that was written anonymously about letting go.
To “Let Go” Takes Love
To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is to not cut myself off, it is the realization that I can’t control another.
To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To “let go” is to not try to change or blame another.
To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.
To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to
affect their own destinies.
To “let go” is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To “let go” is not to deny but to accept.
To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead, to search out my own shortcomings
and to correct them.
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and
to cherish myself in it.
To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate everybody but to try to become what I dream I
can be.
To “let go” is not to regret the past and not worry about the future: it is to celebrate the
“now.”
To “let go” is to die to our old selves in order to live in the Other.
To “let go” is to not see life as an end but as a beginning.
To “let go” is to empty out our humanness making space for the Divine.
To “let go” is to fear less and to love more.
It is facing the unknown by trusting.
To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is to not cut myself off, it is the realization that I can’t control another.
To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To “let go” is to not try to change or blame another.
To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.
To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to
affect their own destinies.
To “let go” is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To “let go” is not to deny but to accept.
To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead, to search out my own shortcomings
and to correct them.
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and
to cherish myself in it.
To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate everybody but to try to become what I dream I
can be.
To “let go” is not to regret the past and not worry about the future: it is to celebrate the
“now.”
To “let go” is to die to our old selves in order to live in the Other.
To “let go” is to not see life as an end but as a beginning.
To “let go” is to empty out our humanness making space for the Divine.
To “let go” is to fear less and to love more.
It is facing the unknown by trusting.
-Anonymous-
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you in letting go. He is like the wind. You can not see Him, but you can see His moving power!October 26, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - Authority
Think of how often you communicate with people during the course of your day, and that will give you a glimpse into understanding why the word “prayer” is so often mentioned in what I share and write. Prayer is an example of the on going communication that takes place between God and me all day long. If I want lasting relationships in my life, and I do, I need to know how to communicate with others. My relationship with God is dependent upon that same communication skill so that He and I can share thoughts and feelings, ask questions, and listen to one another.
This Wednesday’s theme is about the word “authority.” The theme came out of the first Wednesday when I no longer had Rituxan treatments, and I met with my two friends Jack and Marsha, to pray. Our prayer was a pretty specific request, to gain insight into the spiritual root or cause of this cancer in my bone marrow.
I love how “marrow” is defined as being the innermost, essential, or choicest part. Those words are so descriptive of how I see God in my life. He is the marrow of my heart, and it is my heart that seeks to understand this cancer from God’s perspective.
Here is what I have learned over the past 8 weeks, I need to AVOID what has the potential to be spiritually infectious to me, and I have come to realize that what is most infectious to me is disrespect. I know there are people who I have allowed to treat me with disrespect, but here is the clincher – in my allowing it, I have been disrespectful to myself!
So what is the cure? I need to take authority over that disrespectful spirit and make the decision to replace it with an attitude of respect. What does that respect look like? Look up the word “respect,” and you may be as surprised as I was, to discover that it means to feel or show honor. Honor! Are you kidding? I have never even considered the thought of honoring myself, but that is what respect means. For me, that respect translates into my relationships where I am to honor God, myself, and others. It means that I honor God for who He is – GOD. And that I honor myself for who He created me to be – Colleen. And I honor others for who He created them to be – my family, my friends, my neighbors, and even the stranger that I have been inconsiderate and rude to - in traffic, a grocery line, waiting on the telephone, or not getting my order right! That disrespectful spirit has affected the very marrow of my life!
Look at the word “AUTHORITY.” What else do you see when you look at it? Until I wrote the word down, I never realized that it contains the word AUTHOR. Here is why I LOVE God’s Word, the day after I came to the realization that the word “author” was in the word “authority,” I was leafing through my Bible and my eye was caught by a title in Romans. The title of the chapter just blew me away, it says, “Respect for Authority!” “Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.” (Romans 13:1) In other words, God was literally showing me in His Word that He is the Author of authority!!! How great is it when we are in communication with God Himself! As I reflected on just these two sentences from Romans 13, I was reminded of how I can even be disrespectful to the stranger who is my own President. And on a more personal level, I know there have been disrespectful moments directed to the people I love the most, my family. Please forgive me. Romans13 is full of wisdom, and I would encourage you to read it in its entirety.
No sooner did I get through Romans 13 when there was yet another scripture that came up for me on authority in 1 Peter 2:13. Talk about making sure that I got the reinforced message!!! The title of the chapter is “Respecting People in Authority.” I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried! 1 Peter 2:13 says, “For the Lord’s sake, respect all human authority – whether the king as head of state, or the officials he has appointed.”
As I reflected on these two scripture references, I was taken back to the one Scripture that I read all last year when I prayed for our nation. That scripture has routinely come back to me as I have dealt with this cancer diagnosis and its spiritual root of disrespect. The Scripture that I prayed in 2010, and that has now resurfaced for me, comes from 2 Chronicles 7:14, “Then, if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.”
Here is the bottom line. God is the Author of all authority and He wants me to respect those in authority. In other words, He wants me to honor them and be considerate of them. He also wants me to take the authority he has given me to care for myself, honor myself, and be considerate of myself. This is not selfishness but learning to care and love myself in God’s way!
As I personally deal with my own issues of cancer and it spiritual root of disrespect, I recognize how I am just a small reflection of the bigger picture that is filled with disrespect for God, the country that He has blessed us to live in, and the people who are its citizens. The marrow of who we are has been infiltrated with disrespect. I appreciate the words my Aunt Millie sent to me in an email that expressed a similar evaluation to the one I have just made in regards to our country. Her e-mail also included the scripture from 2 Chronicles 7:14. Here is how her e-mail ended in a quote from Ronald Reagan: “If we ever forget that we are a nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."
Lord, I ask Your forgiveness for the disrespect I have had regarding authority, especially, toward You, myself, others, and our country. Jesus, thank You that I can ask for forgiveness because of what You did for me on the cross, and may I continue to learn from You and be more like You in humility, gentleness and love.
This Wednesday’s theme is about the word “authority.” The theme came out of the first Wednesday when I no longer had Rituxan treatments, and I met with my two friends Jack and Marsha, to pray. Our prayer was a pretty specific request, to gain insight into the spiritual root or cause of this cancer in my bone marrow.
I love how “marrow” is defined as being the innermost, essential, or choicest part. Those words are so descriptive of how I see God in my life. He is the marrow of my heart, and it is my heart that seeks to understand this cancer from God’s perspective.
Here is what I have learned over the past 8 weeks, I need to AVOID what has the potential to be spiritually infectious to me, and I have come to realize that what is most infectious to me is disrespect. I know there are people who I have allowed to treat me with disrespect, but here is the clincher – in my allowing it, I have been disrespectful to myself!
So what is the cure? I need to take authority over that disrespectful spirit and make the decision to replace it with an attitude of respect. What does that respect look like? Look up the word “respect,” and you may be as surprised as I was, to discover that it means to feel or show honor. Honor! Are you kidding? I have never even considered the thought of honoring myself, but that is what respect means. For me, that respect translates into my relationships where I am to honor God, myself, and others. It means that I honor God for who He is – GOD. And that I honor myself for who He created me to be – Colleen. And I honor others for who He created them to be – my family, my friends, my neighbors, and even the stranger that I have been inconsiderate and rude to - in traffic, a grocery line, waiting on the telephone, or not getting my order right! That disrespectful spirit has affected the very marrow of my life!
Look at the word “AUTHORITY.” What else do you see when you look at it? Until I wrote the word down, I never realized that it contains the word AUTHOR. Here is why I LOVE God’s Word, the day after I came to the realization that the word “author” was in the word “authority,” I was leafing through my Bible and my eye was caught by a title in Romans. The title of the chapter just blew me away, it says, “Respect for Authority!” “Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.” (Romans 13:1) In other words, God was literally showing me in His Word that He is the Author of authority!!! How great is it when we are in communication with God Himself! As I reflected on just these two sentences from Romans 13, I was reminded of how I can even be disrespectful to the stranger who is my own President. And on a more personal level, I know there have been disrespectful moments directed to the people I love the most, my family. Please forgive me. Romans13 is full of wisdom, and I would encourage you to read it in its entirety.
No sooner did I get through Romans 13 when there was yet another scripture that came up for me on authority in 1 Peter 2:13. Talk about making sure that I got the reinforced message!!! The title of the chapter is “Respecting People in Authority.” I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried! 1 Peter 2:13 says, “For the Lord’s sake, respect all human authority – whether the king as head of state, or the officials he has appointed.”
As I reflected on these two scripture references, I was taken back to the one Scripture that I read all last year when I prayed for our nation. That scripture has routinely come back to me as I have dealt with this cancer diagnosis and its spiritual root of disrespect. The Scripture that I prayed in 2010, and that has now resurfaced for me, comes from 2 Chronicles 7:14, “Then, if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.”
Here is the bottom line. God is the Author of all authority and He wants me to respect those in authority. In other words, He wants me to honor them and be considerate of them. He also wants me to take the authority he has given me to care for myself, honor myself, and be considerate of myself. This is not selfishness but learning to care and love myself in God’s way!
As I personally deal with my own issues of cancer and it spiritual root of disrespect, I recognize how I am just a small reflection of the bigger picture that is filled with disrespect for God, the country that He has blessed us to live in, and the people who are its citizens. The marrow of who we are has been infiltrated with disrespect. I appreciate the words my Aunt Millie sent to me in an email that expressed a similar evaluation to the one I have just made in regards to our country. Her e-mail also included the scripture from 2 Chronicles 7:14. Here is how her e-mail ended in a quote from Ronald Reagan: “If we ever forget that we are a nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."
Lord, I ask Your forgiveness for the disrespect I have had regarding authority, especially, toward You, myself, others, and our country. Jesus, thank You that I can ask for forgiveness because of what You did for me on the cross, and may I continue to learn from You and be more like You in humility, gentleness and love.
"Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12)
"May you live to enjoy your grandchildren. May Israel have peace!" (Psalm 128:6)
My heart always seeks to honor my parents, despite those "missed the mark" opportunities . And when I see the honor and respect that my own daughter demonstrates towards her family and me, I feel deep gratitude. I love the promise that speaks to us about a LONG and FULL life when we are willing to respect the authority of what God tells us in honoring our family. When I see that I am still alive, still living in the greatest country, and enjoying my grandchildren, I know that God is fulfilling His promise in my life! The authority of God always blesses me and grants me peace!
October 19, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - The Feather
In my desire to know, experience, and love God on a very personal level, I also found out just how cluttered and messed up my journey to spiritual and physical health could get. I am a living example of what has been tested and tried - from traditional religion and medicine to eastern religion and medicine. When the New Age way of thinking got added to this mix, I got all tangled up in the occult world of horoscopes, astrology, psychics, palm reading, numerology, hieroglyphics, and various “healing” modalities.
I am so thankful for what I have gone through and learned, because in the process, I discovered God’s truth and love for me. Consequently, I was freed and healed from the demonic lies and traps that held me in pain and bondage. I ultimately recognized that the only way I can truly know, experience, and love God is through the truth that is found in His Word and what He says. Anything else is counterfeit. God speaks through His Word and He teaches me how to sort through the cluttered mess and confusion of whatever I may face.
As I have said many times, red for me is symbolic of the Holy Spirit’s presence in my life and God’s love for me. In the beginning stages of learning about God’s Word, I constantly heard this one verse over and over. It became so visible and audible that I even saw it framed in gold leafed lettering, and it now hangs on the kitchen soffit above my sink for everyone to see. It says, “I know the plans I have for you says the LORD…. to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11.
This new venture into blogging is God’s plan for me, and He has used my daughter Lauren, to get me to realize it. I have agreed to do it because I have learned that God’s plans are far greater than mine. There is peace in doing life God’s way rather than my way.
Prior to getting the cancer diagnosis of Waldenstrom’s, my friend Julie would call me up and say, “Do red birds mean anything to you? Whenever I pray for you and your health I see red birds.” I replied, “No, they mean nothing right now, but maybe down the road they will.” And that was it; our conversation about red birds was over, or so I thought.
The Bible is filled with symbolism, but our focus is never to be solely on the symbolism, which is a very prominent theme in New Age thinking. Our focus is to be on God who is the Creator of all creation. God uses symbolism and His creation to speak to us, but so does the enemy, and that is why it is so important to look at these “signs” in relationship to what God’s Word says and what the voice of His Holy Spirit tells us in regards to our experiences.
After my last Rituxan treatment, I was lovingly taken into the home of my friends, Johnny and Lynn. Lynn and I had taken a brisk morning walk on the Loveland bike trail, when I saw what I have never seen before – a red feather in my path. Just seconds before seeing this feather I had this sense in my spirit that I was to continue writing Red Wednesday’s Wisdom, even though my treatments had ended. I picked up the feather and I asked Lynn, who is an artist and has a keen eye for color and beauty, “Have you ever seen a red feather on the ground?” She said, “Never, but I am sure it’s the feather of a red bird, a cardinal.” I shared with Lynn what I had been thinking about in continuing to write Red Wednesday’s Wisdom, and how this red feather was an obvious attention getter for me.
Over the past 11 years, God has used feathers to represent a quill for me. When I start seeing them on a regular basis I know that it’s time again to concentrate on writing that class, that curriculum, that book, that article, that BLOG! But this was the first time I had ever seen a red feather!
A few days later, after leaving Lynn’s, I was working at my client’s home. And as is typical in my business, my clients often become close friends. My friend Vicki tells me to stop working at 2:15 PM and says that she wants to take me somewhere. We end up in the salon she likes to go to, and I am clueless as to why we are there. While waiting to see what is to happen, I share my red feather story with Vicki. How she remained straight faced when hearing my story, knowing what she herself was about to do with me, was beyond my comprehension, but she did. As it turned out, her gift and surprise to me was a strand of red feathers to be weaved into my hair!!! All I could do was cry! I was moved by the fact that Vicki knew nothing about my red feather story and I was in awe of how God had neatly arranged all those precious red feathered moments with my friends to take place!
Vicki is a decorator, so naturally she wanted a way to decorate me in red every day of the week! The feathers in my hair were her way of doing this for me. Every time I am asked about the red feathers in my hair, it is an opportunity to share this story and talk about the power of God’s Holy Spirit in transforming me, loving me, and healing me!
I am so thankful for what I have gone through and learned, because in the process, I discovered God’s truth and love for me. Consequently, I was freed and healed from the demonic lies and traps that held me in pain and bondage. I ultimately recognized that the only way I can truly know, experience, and love God is through the truth that is found in His Word and what He says. Anything else is counterfeit. God speaks through His Word and He teaches me how to sort through the cluttered mess and confusion of whatever I may face.
As I have said many times, red for me is symbolic of the Holy Spirit’s presence in my life and God’s love for me. In the beginning stages of learning about God’s Word, I constantly heard this one verse over and over. It became so visible and audible that I even saw it framed in gold leafed lettering, and it now hangs on the kitchen soffit above my sink for everyone to see. It says, “I know the plans I have for you says the LORD…. to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11.
This new venture into blogging is God’s plan for me, and He has used my daughter Lauren, to get me to realize it. I have agreed to do it because I have learned that God’s plans are far greater than mine. There is peace in doing life God’s way rather than my way.
Prior to getting the cancer diagnosis of Waldenstrom’s, my friend Julie would call me up and say, “Do red birds mean anything to you? Whenever I pray for you and your health I see red birds.” I replied, “No, they mean nothing right now, but maybe down the road they will.” And that was it; our conversation about red birds was over, or so I thought.
The Bible is filled with symbolism, but our focus is never to be solely on the symbolism, which is a very prominent theme in New Age thinking. Our focus is to be on God who is the Creator of all creation. God uses symbolism and His creation to speak to us, but so does the enemy, and that is why it is so important to look at these “signs” in relationship to what God’s Word says and what the voice of His Holy Spirit tells us in regards to our experiences.
After my last Rituxan treatment, I was lovingly taken into the home of my friends, Johnny and Lynn. Lynn and I had taken a brisk morning walk on the Loveland bike trail, when I saw what I have never seen before – a red feather in my path. Just seconds before seeing this feather I had this sense in my spirit that I was to continue writing Red Wednesday’s Wisdom, even though my treatments had ended. I picked up the feather and I asked Lynn, who is an artist and has a keen eye for color and beauty, “Have you ever seen a red feather on the ground?” She said, “Never, but I am sure it’s the feather of a red bird, a cardinal.” I shared with Lynn what I had been thinking about in continuing to write Red Wednesday’s Wisdom, and how this red feather was an obvious attention getter for me.
Over the past 11 years, God has used feathers to represent a quill for me. When I start seeing them on a regular basis I know that it’s time again to concentrate on writing that class, that curriculum, that book, that article, that BLOG! But this was the first time I had ever seen a red feather!
A few days later, after leaving Lynn’s, I was working at my client’s home. And as is typical in my business, my clients often become close friends. My friend Vicki tells me to stop working at 2:15 PM and says that she wants to take me somewhere. We end up in the salon she likes to go to, and I am clueless as to why we are there. While waiting to see what is to happen, I share my red feather story with Vicki. How she remained straight faced when hearing my story, knowing what she herself was about to do with me, was beyond my comprehension, but she did. As it turned out, her gift and surprise to me was a strand of red feathers to be weaved into my hair!!! All I could do was cry! I was moved by the fact that Vicki knew nothing about my red feather story and I was in awe of how God had neatly arranged all those precious red feathered moments with my friends to take place!
Vicki is a decorator, so naturally she wanted a way to decorate me in red every day of the week! The feathers in my hair were her way of doing this for me. Every time I am asked about the red feathers in my hair, it is an opportunity to share this story and talk about the power of God’s Holy Spirit in transforming me, loving me, and healing me!
After getting "feathered" by Vicki.
A good 6- 8 weeks had gone by since I had that conversation with Julie about the cardinals that she would see when praying for me. Their appearance now had meaning as I thought about them in relationship to the red feathers and God using it all to leading me in writing Red Wednesday’s Wisdom.
As I write this post, I am drawn into my kitchen to retrieve the decorative rock that Lynn gave me while I was staying at her home. The inscription says, “My help comes from the Lord” Psalm 121:2. The red feathers will always remind me that my help does come from the Lord and they will also symbolize the plan that God has for me to continue writing Red Wednesday’s Wisdom in this blog format. It will be used for God’s purpose and for His glory. I am honored to be His servant and child!
I love being a witness to God’s detailing, timing, and presence in my life. For He is not dead but alive, He is the Resurrected and Living God! It is so awesome to see how He uses all of us to come together as a body to help one another. We can see it when we slow down enough to listen and reflect.
Even the Damask border that my daughter was drawn to as she and I were led to designing this blog, has its own symbolic meaning. As we prayed about this pattern being used as our border, I had to laugh when I went to get my blood drawn one Wednesday and saw that one of the techs was wearing a Damask printed smock! In our research we learned that the Damask pattern actually derived its name from the city of Damascus, which today is the capital city of modern Syria. In Acts 9 we can read the story about Saul, who was on the road to Damascus. While on that road, he had an encounter with Jesus in the Spirit and he was forever transformed. I hope that Red Wednesday’s Wisdom can help Jesus to transform us as He did with Saul, who became known as Paul, and wrote more of the New Testament than any other author.
I pray that Red Wednesday’s Wisdom will help all of us to know, experience, and love God more intimately. May God’s infinite wisdom bless all of us as He continues to show us the plans He has for us that give us a future and a hope, no matter what circumstances we may face!
September 28, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - More On Its Beginning
How did last year’s seed planting for Wednesday Wisdom grow into this year’s Red Wednesday’s Wisdom?
If you recall, my first treatment was on a Wednesday. My folks and I were all dolled up in our red. And as we waited to see my doctor, I found myself reflecting on the comments that had been made about how cute we all looked. So, in my desire to see through the eyes of others, I asked one of the nurses to take a picture of the three of us with my cell phone. I treasure that picture and its memory! It’s on my refrigerator, and when I went to Lauren and Craig’s, it was on Lauren’s desk. She made a point to say, “Mom, I just love that picture!” I agree. That picture is a reminder of how intentional we were to wear our red. But it was not until we were asked the "WHY" to wearing red that I realized the impact of what that question meant to me. Here I was walking into a situation that had the potential to be very scary for me, and yet, there I was looking into my cell phone seeing the three of us, and feeling peace in my spirit.
God tells me in Philippians 4:6-8, “Colleen, don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell Me what you need, and thank Me for all I have done. Then you will experience My peace, which exceeds anything you can understand. My peace will guard your heart and mind as you live in Christ Jesus.”
I had peace because the truth of those words lives inside of me and I saw those words being manifested in my parents who were there to support me and to love me as they always have. And despite the fact that I felt such a deep pain in my heart for them as they witnessed their child going through this journey, I was so thankful that they were with me at that time and through most of this past summer. The three of us were being surrounded by God’s Divine intervention of love, His Holy Spirit, and His perfect timing to have us all together so that I did not go through this alone!
I have journaled almost every day since I was pregnant with Lauren, my oldest child of two that God has so graciously blessed me with. As I wrote in my journal about that first Wednesday treatment with all its red stories, and that picture that reflected all of it, I saw how the seed of last year’s Wednesday Wisdom had grown into the fruit of this year’s Red Wednesday's Wisdom. That “off the cuff” photo of me with my parents in red became instrumental to what God was putting on my heart to journal. It became clear to me that God was going to use Red Wednesday's Wisdom to bless, grow, and stretch anyone who had the desire to experience His touch. By sharing my story in Red Wednesday's Wisdom, I hope you will see how God wants to help you in knowing and sharing your own story.
If you recall, my first treatment was on a Wednesday. My folks and I were all dolled up in our red. And as we waited to see my doctor, I found myself reflecting on the comments that had been made about how cute we all looked. So, in my desire to see through the eyes of others, I asked one of the nurses to take a picture of the three of us with my cell phone. I treasure that picture and its memory! It’s on my refrigerator, and when I went to Lauren and Craig’s, it was on Lauren’s desk. She made a point to say, “Mom, I just love that picture!” I agree. That picture is a reminder of how intentional we were to wear our red. But it was not until we were asked the "WHY" to wearing red that I realized the impact of what that question meant to me. Here I was walking into a situation that had the potential to be very scary for me, and yet, there I was looking into my cell phone seeing the three of us, and feeling peace in my spirit.
God tells me in Philippians 4:6-8, “Colleen, don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell Me what you need, and thank Me for all I have done. Then you will experience My peace, which exceeds anything you can understand. My peace will guard your heart and mind as you live in Christ Jesus.”
I had peace because the truth of those words lives inside of me and I saw those words being manifested in my parents who were there to support me and to love me as they always have. And despite the fact that I felt such a deep pain in my heart for them as they witnessed their child going through this journey, I was so thankful that they were with me at that time and through most of this past summer. The three of us were being surrounded by God’s Divine intervention of love, His Holy Spirit, and His perfect timing to have us all together so that I did not go through this alone!
I have journaled almost every day since I was pregnant with Lauren, my oldest child of two that God has so graciously blessed me with. As I wrote in my journal about that first Wednesday treatment with all its red stories, and that picture that reflected all of it, I saw how the seed of last year’s Wednesday Wisdom had grown into the fruit of this year’s Red Wednesday's Wisdom. That “off the cuff” photo of me with my parents in red became instrumental to what God was putting on my heart to journal. It became clear to me that God was going to use Red Wednesday's Wisdom to bless, grow, and stretch anyone who had the desire to experience His touch. By sharing my story in Red Wednesday's Wisdom, I hope you will see how God wants to help you in knowing and sharing your own story.
After sending out an email with an update on my first treatment along with our family photo, many of you replied by saying you were going to wear your red every Wednesday, so I took what you said to heart. I made it a point to wear my red every Wednesday and so did my Rituxan buddies along my side. You honored me and the Holy Spirit with every Wednesday treatment.
So, the Wednesday treatments are over. Why am I going to continue writing Red Wednesday’s Wisdom? Stay tuned to find out how God uses everything in His creation to speak to us about the plans He has for us; in my case it’s red birds and red feathers!
These next pictures represent why I will continue to be writing Red Wednesday’s Wisdom. You will hear more about my feathered friend, Lynn who is pictured here in the first shot. The second pictures is the vase of beautiful feathers, not flowers, that she presented to me. It was in commemoration of what I will share with you in the next weeks.
So, the Wednesday treatments are over. Why am I going to continue writing Red Wednesday’s Wisdom? Stay tuned to find out how God uses everything in His creation to speak to us about the plans He has for us; in my case it’s red birds and red feathers!
These next pictures represent why I will continue to be writing Red Wednesday’s Wisdom. You will hear more about my feathered friend, Lynn who is pictured here in the first shot. The second pictures is the vase of beautiful feathers, not flowers, that she presented to me. It was in commemoration of what I will share with you in the next weeks.
Birds of a feather flock together, and we certainly do!
September 14, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - How It Began
I hope that by sharing the following story with you over the next couple of weeks, that you will have a better idea as to why I am writing Red Wednesday’s Wisdom, and how it gives credence to why I believe in God’s presence in my life and His desire to be in yours as well.
First of all, I want to remind you that all four of my Rituxan treatments took place this past August, 2011, on Wednesdays. I make a point to tell you this because last year during the months of August and September, my friend Val, who was my Rituxan buddy at my second treatment, was meeting with me every week so that we could begin to edit the book that I had, and have been writing. The writing reflects my 17 years of being in a personal relationship with Jesus and the healing that He brought to my broken heart and life. Out of those 17 years, 11 of them have been spent in writing and teaching others how they too can experience a personal relationship with God, through His Son Jesus, and to receive the healing that He has for each of us, if we want it. Through God’s Holy Spirit, the whole reason for red, He is the One who shows us how we can declutter, heal and rebuild our lives with His simplicity, His order, and His nurturing ways.
Val and I did not set out to meet every week on Wednesdays, and to say that it just turned out that way would be negating God’s divine orchestration. Whether we admit to it or not, and whether we are aware of it or not, God’s divine order is always at work. So as Val and I met on Wednesdays to share, pray, and edit, we discovered that the Holy Spirit had been at work growing the same spiritual gift in both of us; the gift of wisdom, also referred to as knowledge. If you look at 1 Corinthians 12:1-11, you will see that these verses give you insight about the different spiritual gifts. Wisdom is one example of those spiritual gifts. All of them are meant to be used in our helping one another.
The wisdom I am talking about is far greater than the worldly wisdom that comes from man. The spiritual gift of wisdom is much greater and deeper. It is the Godly wisdom that is experienced when we have a relationship with Jesus, His Holy Spirit, and His Word.
Consequently, Val and I began to wonder if the Holy Spirit was putting it on our hearts to refer to our meeting days as Wednesday Wisdom, so Val and I prayed and we asked for the Lord’s guidance in His Word. Of all the 66 books in the Bible, the Lord led us to the one book that is filled with God’s wisdom. It is called the book of Proverbs, and it is also known as the Book of Wisdom. Here are the two scriptures that we were specifically led to:
1. Proverbs 3:5
“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; do not depend on your own
understanding.”
Understanding is a synonym for knowledge or wisdom and we were being
reminded to depend on what God knows, rather than depending on what we
thought we knew.
2. Proverbs 4:7
“Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do,
develop good judgment."
God was reinforcing that our coming to Him in prayer was the wisest thing we could be doing. We had asked for God’s wisdom to describe our Wednesday meetings, and it was affirmed by Him leading us to the book of Proverbs (The Book of Wisdom), and the wisdom Scriptures that we were to reflect on.
Even as I am in the process of writing about Wednesday Wisdom and doing my morning devotions from the book called Jesus Calling, I see God’s “attention getter” with these words in the book of Colossians 2:3, “In him lies hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” The "he" that is being referred to is Christ. Therefore, wisdom = Christ!
Two weeks ago, a parishioner at my church shared that she had been praying for my healing. She also had a Scripture to share with me. Prior to this exchange that we were having, I had asked her to please share any specific Scripture that the Lord had put on her heart for me. The Scripture she shared with me was Proverbs 3:5. The first Scripture that I mentioned above when Val and I prayed last year about Wednesday Wisdom!
So, as Val and I continued to meet for Wednesday Wisdom, we began to think that Wednesday Wisdom could eventually become a Home Touched web site feature. Catalin (Cat), who is married to Val, is a web designer, and he registered Home Touched as a domain name over 11 years ago for me, but we have never received the green light to create a web site. Often times God says, “WAIT!” And over the years, I have learned that God’s wait is much different from my wait. So even though the three of us explored and played with different ideas for the web site, it became clear that God was still saying, “Wait!”
The day was Wednesday, July 26th 2011, and of all the people who could have been with me on this day it was Val. The doctor’s diagnosis from the bone marrow test was Waldenstrom’s, a non-Hodgkin's lymphoma cancer. After much discussion with the oncologist, and Val asking more questions than me, Dr. Partridge made a brief exit. I glanced at Val with tear filled eyes as I expressed the feelings of shock, as well as relief. Finally, I had a diagnosis to go with the laborious search to explain the symptoms I had been experiencing over the last 2 years. But what was hitting me even harder, was that the two of us were witnessing the hand of God as He had been preparing us, and particularly me, for this day’s Wednesday Wisdom and for future Wednesdays as I faced upcoming treatments. How could I have known that Wednesday Wisdom would be about me being diagnosed with cancer?
I look forward to continuing the story and telling you how RED became part of Wednesday's Wisdom.
First of all, I want to remind you that all four of my Rituxan treatments took place this past August, 2011, on Wednesdays. I make a point to tell you this because last year during the months of August and September, my friend Val, who was my Rituxan buddy at my second treatment, was meeting with me every week so that we could begin to edit the book that I had, and have been writing. The writing reflects my 17 years of being in a personal relationship with Jesus and the healing that He brought to my broken heart and life. Out of those 17 years, 11 of them have been spent in writing and teaching others how they too can experience a personal relationship with God, through His Son Jesus, and to receive the healing that He has for each of us, if we want it. Through God’s Holy Spirit, the whole reason for red, He is the One who shows us how we can declutter, heal and rebuild our lives with His simplicity, His order, and His nurturing ways.
Val and I did not set out to meet every week on Wednesdays, and to say that it just turned out that way would be negating God’s divine orchestration. Whether we admit to it or not, and whether we are aware of it or not, God’s divine order is always at work. So as Val and I met on Wednesdays to share, pray, and edit, we discovered that the Holy Spirit had been at work growing the same spiritual gift in both of us; the gift of wisdom, also referred to as knowledge. If you look at 1 Corinthians 12:1-11, you will see that these verses give you insight about the different spiritual gifts. Wisdom is one example of those spiritual gifts. All of them are meant to be used in our helping one another.
The wisdom I am talking about is far greater than the worldly wisdom that comes from man. The spiritual gift of wisdom is much greater and deeper. It is the Godly wisdom that is experienced when we have a relationship with Jesus, His Holy Spirit, and His Word.
Consequently, Val and I began to wonder if the Holy Spirit was putting it on our hearts to refer to our meeting days as Wednesday Wisdom, so Val and I prayed and we asked for the Lord’s guidance in His Word. Of all the 66 books in the Bible, the Lord led us to the one book that is filled with God’s wisdom. It is called the book of Proverbs, and it is also known as the Book of Wisdom. Here are the two scriptures that we were specifically led to:
1. Proverbs 3:5
“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; do not depend on your own
understanding.”
Understanding is a synonym for knowledge or wisdom and we were being
reminded to depend on what God knows, rather than depending on what we
thought we knew.
2. Proverbs 4:7
“Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do,
develop good judgment."
God was reinforcing that our coming to Him in prayer was the wisest thing we could be doing. We had asked for God’s wisdom to describe our Wednesday meetings, and it was affirmed by Him leading us to the book of Proverbs (The Book of Wisdom), and the wisdom Scriptures that we were to reflect on.
Even as I am in the process of writing about Wednesday Wisdom and doing my morning devotions from the book called Jesus Calling, I see God’s “attention getter” with these words in the book of Colossians 2:3, “In him lies hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” The "he" that is being referred to is Christ. Therefore, wisdom = Christ!
Two weeks ago, a parishioner at my church shared that she had been praying for my healing. She also had a Scripture to share with me. Prior to this exchange that we were having, I had asked her to please share any specific Scripture that the Lord had put on her heart for me. The Scripture she shared with me was Proverbs 3:5. The first Scripture that I mentioned above when Val and I prayed last year about Wednesday Wisdom!
So, as Val and I continued to meet for Wednesday Wisdom, we began to think that Wednesday Wisdom could eventually become a Home Touched web site feature. Catalin (Cat), who is married to Val, is a web designer, and he registered Home Touched as a domain name over 11 years ago for me, but we have never received the green light to create a web site. Often times God says, “WAIT!” And over the years, I have learned that God’s wait is much different from my wait. So even though the three of us explored and played with different ideas for the web site, it became clear that God was still saying, “Wait!”
The day was Wednesday, July 26th 2011, and of all the people who could have been with me on this day it was Val. The doctor’s diagnosis from the bone marrow test was Waldenstrom’s, a non-Hodgkin's lymphoma cancer. After much discussion with the oncologist, and Val asking more questions than me, Dr. Partridge made a brief exit. I glanced at Val with tear filled eyes as I expressed the feelings of shock, as well as relief. Finally, I had a diagnosis to go with the laborious search to explain the symptoms I had been experiencing over the last 2 years. But what was hitting me even harder, was that the two of us were witnessing the hand of God as He had been preparing us, and particularly me, for this day’s Wednesday Wisdom and for future Wednesdays as I faced upcoming treatments. How could I have known that Wednesday Wisdom would be about me being diagnosed with cancer?
I look forward to continuing the story and telling you how RED became part of Wednesday's Wisdom.
September 7, 2011
What Cancer Can Not Do
What Cancer Cannot Do
Author: Unknown
Cancer is so limited……
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Holy Spirit.
Author: Unknown
Cancer is so limited……
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Holy Spirit.
One of my friends Barb, with her bible study group, proudly showing of their red in honor of what the Holy Spirit can do, and what cancer can not!
August 31, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - Psalm 91
We are remaining hopeful that the 8/31/11 treatment is remembered as the last one that I will ever need.
As a recipient of the “love IV” that you all have infused in me over these past 4 weeks, there is only one word that consistently comes to me over and over and it is this: AMAZING. During this time that I have gone through the Rituxan treatments, I can honestly say that I feel like I have been on vacation! How many people could ever be blessed to say such a thing??? Mom and Dad, Val, Lisa, and Linda you are my witnesses to the laughter and fun that we had during my treatment times, even though there were some minor challenges physically and emotionally along the way. In these past 4 weeks I have not been by myself, not even for one night. The original reason for this was so that my family would feel at peace about me being around people who could help me if there were any adverse reactions from the Rituxan, especially with my respiratory system and the possibility of psychotic psychosis. Many of you, particularly, my neighbors and clients, just laughed when I mentioned the potential psychotic side effect. I think you were implying that it would be very difficult to distinguish a psychosis from who I am!!! Am I that crazy to you all????
I love what my friend Lynn said after being at her home with her and her husband Johnny, "Now you come on back! You here!" Every one of you who opened your home to me or stayed with me in mine, said over and over how you were expecting me to be rehabbing, and I was, but it was not at all your typical rehab, as we all found out. You all bathed me in rest, prayers, laughter, food, movies, shopping, walking, tears, and Scriptures. I witnessed the presence of God in the flesh through all of you.
Lynn and Johnny, you stepped up to the plate with prayer and fasting from the moment you heard about the diagnosis. Every day Lynn called and blessed me with a message of scripture for that day and its practical application. Sometimes I answered the phone, but most times I did not. Hearing and reading God's Word breathed life into me!
Psalm 91 will be the Psalm and prayer that I hold on to tightly as I continue to go through these next months of blood work, scans, and various tests. When I was being evaluated in the spring with the mouth lesion, which is still present, and before I was even diagnosed with the Waldenstrom's, my friends Lynn and Melissa shared a book with me by Peggy Joyce Ruth called Psalm 91 - God's Umbrella of Protection. I want you all to know that I CONSTANTLY heard this psalm everywhere I went and I asked many of you to read it and think of me before we even had a diagnosis. Here are the 7 promises that God speaks to us in this psalm. I believe in these promises because God is the One making them, and that is why I can say with confidence that God is healing me.
Psalm 91 Promises
1. God delivers me
2. He raises me up (lifts me up)
3. He answers me
4. He rescues me from trouble
5. He honors me because I love Him
6. He satisfies me with LONG life
7. I behold His salvation
This book is FREE by calling 877- 972- 6657
Please continue to pray for my complete healing with no side effects. The flare up of IgM can occur up to 4 months after treatment, so PLEASE do not retreat in your praying and seeking God's Word. And for those of you who do not know about Irene, my son in law's mom, she has come off of hospice with half of her cancer GONE and no new growth, and she has Stage IV ovarian cancer! When I pray for my own complete healing I pray for hers as well.
As a recipient of the “love IV” that you all have infused in me over these past 4 weeks, there is only one word that consistently comes to me over and over and it is this: AMAZING. During this time that I have gone through the Rituxan treatments, I can honestly say that I feel like I have been on vacation! How many people could ever be blessed to say such a thing??? Mom and Dad, Val, Lisa, and Linda you are my witnesses to the laughter and fun that we had during my treatment times, even though there were some minor challenges physically and emotionally along the way. In these past 4 weeks I have not been by myself, not even for one night. The original reason for this was so that my family would feel at peace about me being around people who could help me if there were any adverse reactions from the Rituxan, especially with my respiratory system and the possibility of psychotic psychosis. Many of you, particularly, my neighbors and clients, just laughed when I mentioned the potential psychotic side effect. I think you were implying that it would be very difficult to distinguish a psychosis from who I am!!! Am I that crazy to you all????
I love what my friend Lynn said after being at her home with her and her husband Johnny, "Now you come on back! You here!" Every one of you who opened your home to me or stayed with me in mine, said over and over how you were expecting me to be rehabbing, and I was, but it was not at all your typical rehab, as we all found out. You all bathed me in rest, prayers, laughter, food, movies, shopping, walking, tears, and Scriptures. I witnessed the presence of God in the flesh through all of you.
Lynn and Johnny, you stepped up to the plate with prayer and fasting from the moment you heard about the diagnosis. Every day Lynn called and blessed me with a message of scripture for that day and its practical application. Sometimes I answered the phone, but most times I did not. Hearing and reading God's Word breathed life into me!
Psalm 91 will be the Psalm and prayer that I hold on to tightly as I continue to go through these next months of blood work, scans, and various tests. When I was being evaluated in the spring with the mouth lesion, which is still present, and before I was even diagnosed with the Waldenstrom's, my friends Lynn and Melissa shared a book with me by Peggy Joyce Ruth called Psalm 91 - God's Umbrella of Protection. I want you all to know that I CONSTANTLY heard this psalm everywhere I went and I asked many of you to read it and think of me before we even had a diagnosis. Here are the 7 promises that God speaks to us in this psalm. I believe in these promises because God is the One making them, and that is why I can say with confidence that God is healing me.
Psalm 91 Promises
1. God delivers me
2. He raises me up (lifts me up)
3. He answers me
4. He rescues me from trouble
5. He honors me because I love Him
6. He satisfies me with LONG life
7. I behold His salvation
This book is FREE by calling 877- 972- 6657
Please continue to pray for my complete healing with no side effects. The flare up of IgM can occur up to 4 months after treatment, so PLEASE do not retreat in your praying and seeking God's Word. And for those of you who do not know about Irene, my son in law's mom, she has come off of hospice with half of her cancer GONE and no new growth, and she has Stage IV ovarian cancer! When I pray for my own complete healing I pray for hers as well.
My longtime sweet friend Linda and I at the last treatment of this round.
August 24, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - Joy
My cousin Lisa had come from Canton to be my Rituxan buddy this week. One of the first comments that she made to me was this, “Colleen, you will never know how many people you have touched by what you are going through and sharing.” I quickly got some idea of what she meant.
Her Name is Joy. She has been dating my cousin Lisa’s son, James, for a couple of years, but we have never met. Six months ago, Joy started working at the Clinique counter, where Lisa is her boss. What Lisa was about to describe to me, brought tears to my eyes as she presented me with a beautiful red gift basket that was from Joy. Lisa told me how Joy was moved to go on a “red shopping spree” just for me. Having gathered her shopping treasures, Joy wanted to share her findings, so she displayed them at the Clinique counter for her co-workers to see. This sea of red began to attract customers, and the question that has now become very familiar to many of us was asked, “What’s with the red?”
As I discovered the contents of this red basket that had been beautifully tied with a red stretchy scarf and filled with an assortment of red Bath and Body antibacterial soaps, scented candles, body crèmes, and a red puffed loofah, I could see the waving banner of red that had been created at that Clinique counter. Even the basket was lined with yet another scarf of red, black, and white plaid, it was just beautiful!
I share this with you, because many of you know that I am the “froofy” type. I had gone to my closet the morning that my cousin was coming and thought to myself, "I can’t believe that with all the scarves I have in my closet, I don’t have any light weight red ones!"
What did all of this mean to me? It went so far beyond what the eye could see. It was about the power and love of God’s Holy Spirit and how God’s Spirit works through us.
I don’t know Joy, but I do know the Holy Spirit and that is WHO this red is all about. Joy was reflecting the love that God has for me and the compassion for what I am facing. God is the one who made me “froofy” and He knew exactly what my closet did not have that I wanted, but certainly did not need. God is our Provider and Supplier in so many different, sweet, and practical ways, and I love that about Him!
The name Joy is not one of those coincidences either. Joy is talked about throughout the Bible. When we ask Jesus to come into our hearts and we surrender our need to control to Him, we can begin to experience the fruit of God’s Holy Spirit living inside of us, and one of the characteristics of that fruit, is Joy (Galatians 5:22). To have the joy of God living inside of me, means that no matter what circumstance I face, I can walk it out with joy, regardless of what happens! "The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all of my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving" (Psalm 28:7).
Thank you, Joy, for being used by the Lord to accessorize and pamper me to help me look and feel my best!
Thank you, Lisa, for taking the time to make the drive down here to spend time with me and to love on me, and to put it in your words, “I am here to focus on you!” Lisa knows that it is not easy for me to think of myself as being the focus (and many of you know that to be true of me also), but I also know that God is saying this is what I need right now. There is a time to be outward focused and there is a time to rest and be inward focused. It’s a life long process of learning how to love ourselves so we can get a glimpse of how we can then love others with greater compassion and empathy the way God loves us.
In my excitement to have Lisa with me, I literally have had renewed energy. She has been such a great example of God giving me a dose of His healing Holy Spirit Power. And to ALL of you who have given me a dose of God’s spiritual medicine, I say thank you, even if I don’t know you, because I know the God who is Love, and you are His gift to me!
Going through my treatments has been a celebration of life. Cyndi, you said it so well when you talked about the days I spent being cared for at your home, “Our time together was like being on a mini vacation.”Laurie, you have always been so inclusive about me being a part of your family and wanting me to be around by asking, “When are you coming back?” This time in my life has truly been a time of JOY!
I know that my Mom, Dad, and Lauren were so concerned about my being alone during these times of treatment. What an answer you all have been to their prayers and concerns for me. You can not put a price on peace, and my family and I thank you for the peace you provided.
Her Name is Joy. She has been dating my cousin Lisa’s son, James, for a couple of years, but we have never met. Six months ago, Joy started working at the Clinique counter, where Lisa is her boss. What Lisa was about to describe to me, brought tears to my eyes as she presented me with a beautiful red gift basket that was from Joy. Lisa told me how Joy was moved to go on a “red shopping spree” just for me. Having gathered her shopping treasures, Joy wanted to share her findings, so she displayed them at the Clinique counter for her co-workers to see. This sea of red began to attract customers, and the question that has now become very familiar to many of us was asked, “What’s with the red?”
As I discovered the contents of this red basket that had been beautifully tied with a red stretchy scarf and filled with an assortment of red Bath and Body antibacterial soaps, scented candles, body crèmes, and a red puffed loofah, I could see the waving banner of red that had been created at that Clinique counter. Even the basket was lined with yet another scarf of red, black, and white plaid, it was just beautiful!
I share this with you, because many of you know that I am the “froofy” type. I had gone to my closet the morning that my cousin was coming and thought to myself, "I can’t believe that with all the scarves I have in my closet, I don’t have any light weight red ones!"
What did all of this mean to me? It went so far beyond what the eye could see. It was about the power and love of God’s Holy Spirit and how God’s Spirit works through us.
I don’t know Joy, but I do know the Holy Spirit and that is WHO this red is all about. Joy was reflecting the love that God has for me and the compassion for what I am facing. God is the one who made me “froofy” and He knew exactly what my closet did not have that I wanted, but certainly did not need. God is our Provider and Supplier in so many different, sweet, and practical ways, and I love that about Him!
The name Joy is not one of those coincidences either. Joy is talked about throughout the Bible. When we ask Jesus to come into our hearts and we surrender our need to control to Him, we can begin to experience the fruit of God’s Holy Spirit living inside of us, and one of the characteristics of that fruit, is Joy (Galatians 5:22). To have the joy of God living inside of me, means that no matter what circumstance I face, I can walk it out with joy, regardless of what happens! "The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all of my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving" (Psalm 28:7).
Thank you, Joy, for being used by the Lord to accessorize and pamper me to help me look and feel my best!
Thank you, Lisa, for taking the time to make the drive down here to spend time with me and to love on me, and to put it in your words, “I am here to focus on you!” Lisa knows that it is not easy for me to think of myself as being the focus (and many of you know that to be true of me also), but I also know that God is saying this is what I need right now. There is a time to be outward focused and there is a time to rest and be inward focused. It’s a life long process of learning how to love ourselves so we can get a glimpse of how we can then love others with greater compassion and empathy the way God loves us.
In my excitement to have Lisa with me, I literally have had renewed energy. She has been such a great example of God giving me a dose of His healing Holy Spirit Power. And to ALL of you who have given me a dose of God’s spiritual medicine, I say thank you, even if I don’t know you, because I know the God who is Love, and you are His gift to me!
Going through my treatments has been a celebration of life. Cyndi, you said it so well when you talked about the days I spent being cared for at your home, “Our time together was like being on a mini vacation.”Laurie, you have always been so inclusive about me being a part of your family and wanting me to be around by asking, “When are you coming back?” This time in my life has truly been a time of JOY!
I know that my Mom, Dad, and Lauren were so concerned about my being alone during these times of treatment. What an answer you all have been to their prayers and concerns for me. You can not put a price on peace, and my family and I thank you for the peace you provided.
My precious cousin Lisa and I sporting our red power.
August 17, 2011
Red Wednesday's Wisdom - Stubborn and Rest
“STUBBORN!” That’s what I said last week to my Rituxan buddy Val, and Sara my nurse, as repeated attempts were made to get an open vein for my infusion and blood levels. I thought about all the years I have spent in being stubborn and how it has flowed through my blood and veins.
As I pondered on that word stubborn, I was taken back to a memory that took place 15 years ago as it related to the history I had of repeated kidney stone attacks. Going back to that memory symbolized a crucial turning point in my spiritual training as a nurse. I had spent years learning and then teaching about the physical cause for symptoms of disease and illness, but now God would begin to teach me about the spiritual cause or root for those same symptoms.
Kidney stones are hard and stubborn. And from a spiritual perspective, God would constantly take me to the story of Jonah and the whale to teach me what I needed to learn and process about my own stubborn and hard willed nature. Jonah was the epitome of being hard and stubborn. He didn’t want to do what he was told to do, especially when the instruction came from God. I find it so amusing that my little granddaughter, GG (Georgia Grace), loves Jonah and the whale more than any other Bible story, and just recently it “randomly” came up when I was reading a bible story to Grant, my grandson. Remember, there are no accidents just God incidences.
Though I have experienced much growth and healing when it comes to my own stubborn and hardheaded will, I have also learned that recovery from anything is a life long process. It is often slow, gradual, purposeful, and asks us to be watchful and waitful. So, here I am again as God uses my blood and veins to get my attention about being stubborn. What new information will I learn this time?
When I reflect on how long hardness and stubbornness have been around, I go back to its root in Genesis 3 where Adam and Eve are in the Garden of Eden and they choose to not listen to the voice of God. They chose to listen to a different voice with a different direction, so they ate the one and only fruit that God had forbidden them to eat. Why were they forbidden? Well, first of all, God knew more than they did, and secondly, because He was their Father, who loved them. He wanted to protect them from what He knew would hurt them. That hurt was known as evil and God did not want them to experience anything but His goodness.
You see, God did not design us out of a need for us to be robots. He wanted us to choose whether we wanted to be in a loving relationship with Him or not. God is love and God made us with the free will to choose Him and His love or to reject it.
Adam and Eve had a choice. When they heard the voice that was different than God’s, they chose to follow that other voice. Consequently, they ate the fruit and suddenly they experienced what God did not want them to find out - the evil and hurt that comes from sin, disease, sickness, natural disasters, poverty, and death. You know them all too well.
As I reflected on the word stubborn, I began to hear and see the word rest everywhere I turned. It would be in conversations that I had with many of you. I would hear it in your voice mail messages or see it in your texts and cards.
As these two words, "stubborn" and "rest", kept coming together and resonating in my head, there was this constant theme that also kept rising up from God’s Word. It started with a text from my friend Billy, and from there it got reinforced in two of my devotions and a Sunday sermon.
Here are the scriptures I kept hearing and seeing and the ONE theme that they all conveyed:
1. "If only you would listen to his voice today! The Lord says do not harden your hearts as Israel did at Meribah, as they did in Massah in the wilderness." Psalm 95:8
2. "That is why the Holy Spirit says, 'Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled when they tested me in the wilderness.' ” Hebrews 3:7-8
3. “Today when you hear his voice don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when They rebelled.” Hebrews 3:15
4. "Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts." Hebrews 4:7
When you study, research, and meditate on the story that surrounds Psalm 95, the Promised Land was the gift of rest for the Israelites. It was a choice. Do I choose to listen to God’s voice and do what He says to enter into His rest? Or do I choose to disobey His voice and not enter His rest and be stubborn? Not everyone entered The Promised Land since they refused to do what God said. To enter God’s place of rest, The Promised Land, it meant to listen to and obey God.
When you study, research, and meditate on the story of Hebrews 3 and 4, you come to understand that God’s promise of rest still stands. God’s message on rest will NEVER change. For the Hebrews it meant that they believe what God said. Only those who believe what God says, can enter into God’s rest. WARNING: The voice that needs to be followed is God’s.
Webster defines stubborn as:
1. Unreasonable
2. Unyielding
3. Difficult to handle, manage, or treat
The synonym for stubborn is hard headed.
After meditating on the above Scriptures, I’d say stubborn is more than just being hard headed, it’s about being hard hearted.
Webster defines rest as:
1. Freedom from activity or labor. This is the definition that I think most of us connect with – the physical rest. But when I now think about rest, as it is described in the above Scripture message, I gain a whole new insight about the meaning of rest. When I looked at the remaining definitions that follow, they really reflect the spiritual rest I need.
2. Peace of mind and spirit
3. Free of anxiety
4. Relief or freedom
What does God want to teach me that is so crucial to my healing as it relates to stubborn?
When I want my way over God’s way, I am being unyielding and therefore stubborn, rest, Colleen.
Rest brings healing, but it is only COMPLETE HEALING when the rest is both physical and spiritual.
I must listen to God's voice so my heart is not hardened. Listening to God’s voice and direction will keep me from falling back into that stubborn nature so I can enter into God’s Promised Land of rest forever!
When I think of the rest that I need for myself, I know that it must include the physical rest. At this season in my life, I need to have courage to ask of others for their help. I also need a much deeper rest, not just the physical rest. It’s the spiritual rest of tranquility in the midst of all these physical challenges, where my mind and spirit are filled with peace. Spiritual healing brings physical healing, and when I look at symptoms from a physical as well as spiritual perspective, there is a deeper and more lasting healing. This is the deeper rest that brings deeper balance to our bodies.
SPIRITUAL REST
• It can also be called Sabbath Rest, which actually means that I am being obedient to God. If I am being stubborn I am not being obedient to God.
• It is my total trust in God’s provision
• It means that I do not have to STRIVE to create an answer or solution to my problems. Instead I have the full faith and confidence in God and His Word and I enter into His rest!
• It takes place in my mind, spirit, and soul.
• Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am HUMBLE and GENTLE at heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-30
This means that I do what God tells me to do and then I rest in Him and the job gets done. I stop striving, and I stop worrying. I rest in knowing that I can not work it out myself. I respond to God in obedience and I leave the "rest" to Him!
I will close with these few examples of spiritual rest:
With the challenges I am now going through, I could be in a tizzy about owning my home and caring for it, but I’m not. My home was for sale for 9 months, and that was prior to any symptoms I experienced. It was for sale because I asked God for His direction in terms of my staying or moving. I was open to whatever was to happen. The obvious answer was STAY, because I am still in that home and there was not ONE person who even showed any interest! There was no interest because I was the one who was to be there. That home represents to me - entering into God’s Promised Land of spiritual rest. I am resting in that answer because I believe in what God wanted me to do. I am at peace about it and I do not worry about it. And that is in the midst of these tumultuous economic times. I do not focus on the circumstances. I focus on the God who is control of all circumstances!
Owning that home has meant that I have had to make adjustments to how I take care of it. Physical rest was needed with all the fatigue I experienced over the past 2 years. So, for the first time in 16 years I did not open my pool. It bummed me out, and I struggled with what I wanted, which was to have it open. What I needed was to take a break and rest from all the energy, money, additional chores, and entertaining it would have taken. My stubborn nature did not want to change what I knew I needed to do to, rest. It took my Daddy (the Earthly one), to help me stay committed to what I originally said I needed. God was using my Daddy’s voice to speak what I needed to hear so I could rest! Do not let this go to your head, Dad!
I have been blessed with high energy. It is a gift that has been given to me from God. It is not mine to own. Over the past 10 years I have been learning how to use that energy God’s way versus my way. It will be one of those life long processes.
Spiritual rest comes from a confident trust in God and His Word.
Rest is about God and what He wants - a relationship with each and everyone of us.
Stubborn is what I can be, and it can also be the enemy called cancer, but here is what stubborn has also taught me when it comes to this enemy called cancer - I will persevere, I will remain persistent and determined to rest physically and spiritually and I will be used as a blessing and not a curse!
Val, my Rituxan buddy for the day, and I, resting in the goodness of our friendship as I got my treatment.
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