Two weeks ago, I made a trip to beautiful Wilmington, Ohio. I saw my dear friend Jeanne, and finally got to meet her friend, Kris. Jeanne often told me that Kris was a powerful prayer warrior. So when I got the diagnosis of cancer, we made plans for all of us to meet and have Kris go to war for me in prayer. I was so blessed by our time together. I came away with a deep appreciation for how God uses each of us in similar and yet unique and different ways, especially when He wants to speak to us on a very personal and intimate level.
Kris knew very little about me until we met. She said that she preferred it that way. It kept her more objective and open to the Holy Spirit’s prompting rather than being subject to her own interpretations. What Kris received for me in her prayer time actually took place prior to our arrival. After spending some time in getting to know each other, she started out by saying, “The Lord is your shade on your right hand.” I never thought about that before. What did it mean? She went on to explain that shade came out of her devotional time from Sarah Horby’s book, At the Name of Jesus. Reference was made to the shade in Isaiah 4:4-6; “Then the Lord will wash the filth from beautiful Zion. And cleanse Jerusalem of its bloodstains with the hot breath of fiery judgment. Then the Lord will provide shade for Mount Zion and all who assemble there. He will provide a canopy of cloud during the day and smoke and flaming fire at night, covering the glorious land. It will be a shelter from daytime heat and a hiding place from storms and rain.”
Kris went on to say that this shade was not the shade of darkness that I have been so familiar with in my own life. No, this shade was like the color green, and to Kris it was reflective of her homeland of England where there are no trees for shading. She said it was not the shade of Cincinnati where you often experience rain, coolness and darkness, which is exactly how it looks as I write this posting! Kris wanted me to know this basic message: the shade of my past is not the shade of my today. The shade of today represents a new and fresh approach to how I am to live in the present. There was such richness in what I took away from just hearing about this one word and what it would mean to me.
When I first heard the word “shade,” I was immediately taken back to a memory. It was the spring of 2010 and I was feeling pretty drained from a chronic upper respiratory infection. I also had severe congestion and blockage of my sinuses and ears. I knew nothing about the cancer that was growing inside of me. But after teaching one of my clutter healing classes, I asked my partners, those who help me in the classes, if they would pray for me. I was hoping to gain some insight into the spiritual root of my symptoms. In our praying, I was taken to the story of my all too familiar and stubborn friend, Jonah. We were reflecting on Jonah 4. In a nutshell, Jonah, once again, wants his way over God’s way. When he can’t have what he wants he tells God to kill him! The story tells about a leafy plant that God provided for Jonah to shade him from the sun. When a worm destroyed the plant and took away the shade that exposed Jonah to the scorching sun, he got angry and wanted to die.
For a year and a half I have been so puzzled by this story and its meaning for me. There were many times in my past when God used Jonah to address my own anger and my desire to have things my way. But this time, when I thought about those issues, I could see the growth and healing that I had experienced. So there was something else that God wanted me to glean from this story, but what was it????
I have come to realize that the shade in Jonah, and now in Isaiah, is a comparison about where I have been and where I am. As is reflective in Isaiah 4:4-6, God has literally been cleaning me out. Physically, my symptoms are lessening or have completely gone away. The filth of this cancer in my bone marrow has been cleansed by the Rituxan. From a spiritual perspective, I now understand that the shade is about God’s protection of me at all times, regardless of my circumstances or how things may appear to the visible eye. And as Kris said to me, “Colleen, the Lord knows how life has burned you and scorched you by the shaded shadows of darkness, and that is your past, but now He wants you to refocus on the shade of His protection, His provision, and His shelter.”
The word shade is defined by Webster as comparative darkness, which is caused by an object cutting off rays of light. It can also be an open area that is sheltered from sunlight, or it can be a secluded place, or a spirit.
From a spiritual perspective, I now see how those symptoms from 18 months ago were reflective of the darkness that is in this world that wants to cut me off from experiencing the light of God. I now realize that the part I overlooked in Jonah was the part where Jonah wants God to kill him. That is a pretty dark place to be in and God’s light can seem very dim. Here is what I did not recognize about myself, prior to my diagnosis of cancer. There have been times in my past when I have said that I am ready to die. It wasn’t out of anger or not getting my way like Jonah, but the feeling was still being expressed. I apologized to God and said, “Please forgive me for the times when I said that I was ready to die, or when I joked and said, You can take me at any time!” I now know that I am ready to die from the spiritual perspective of knowing Jesus, and knowing I am going to be with Him when I leave this earth. But, when I made those comments, it was because I was operating from a physical and fleshly perspective, I wanted to escape any further pain or suffering, just like Jonah. I too was tired of being burned and scorched.
“The Lord is your shade on your right hand”. When studying these words I found them in Psalm 121:5 and I thought about God always being beside me, like my Body Guard. He is my power, my strength, and my shield at all times! Nothing can harm me! He is my shelter and my protection. Nothing can separate me from Him!
Here is the truth about what I have learned about myself. I am ready to die, but I still want to live. I still want to experience ALL that God still has for me. Cancer is one of those words that immediately turns our thoughts towards death when we hear it spoken. For me, when I now hear it or speak it, I want to hear and speak life! Shade has a new meaning for me. It means life and it means that I picture God at my side as my personal Body Guard!
Kris knew very little about me until we met. She said that she preferred it that way. It kept her more objective and open to the Holy Spirit’s prompting rather than being subject to her own interpretations. What Kris received for me in her prayer time actually took place prior to our arrival. After spending some time in getting to know each other, she started out by saying, “The Lord is your shade on your right hand.” I never thought about that before. What did it mean? She went on to explain that shade came out of her devotional time from Sarah Horby’s book, At the Name of Jesus. Reference was made to the shade in Isaiah 4:4-6; “Then the Lord will wash the filth from beautiful Zion. And cleanse Jerusalem of its bloodstains with the hot breath of fiery judgment. Then the Lord will provide shade for Mount Zion and all who assemble there. He will provide a canopy of cloud during the day and smoke and flaming fire at night, covering the glorious land. It will be a shelter from daytime heat and a hiding place from storms and rain.”
Kris went on to say that this shade was not the shade of darkness that I have been so familiar with in my own life. No, this shade was like the color green, and to Kris it was reflective of her homeland of England where there are no trees for shading. She said it was not the shade of Cincinnati where you often experience rain, coolness and darkness, which is exactly how it looks as I write this posting! Kris wanted me to know this basic message: the shade of my past is not the shade of my today. The shade of today represents a new and fresh approach to how I am to live in the present. There was such richness in what I took away from just hearing about this one word and what it would mean to me.
When I first heard the word “shade,” I was immediately taken back to a memory. It was the spring of 2010 and I was feeling pretty drained from a chronic upper respiratory infection. I also had severe congestion and blockage of my sinuses and ears. I knew nothing about the cancer that was growing inside of me. But after teaching one of my clutter healing classes, I asked my partners, those who help me in the classes, if they would pray for me. I was hoping to gain some insight into the spiritual root of my symptoms. In our praying, I was taken to the story of my all too familiar and stubborn friend, Jonah. We were reflecting on Jonah 4. In a nutshell, Jonah, once again, wants his way over God’s way. When he can’t have what he wants he tells God to kill him! The story tells about a leafy plant that God provided for Jonah to shade him from the sun. When a worm destroyed the plant and took away the shade that exposed Jonah to the scorching sun, he got angry and wanted to die.
For a year and a half I have been so puzzled by this story and its meaning for me. There were many times in my past when God used Jonah to address my own anger and my desire to have things my way. But this time, when I thought about those issues, I could see the growth and healing that I had experienced. So there was something else that God wanted me to glean from this story, but what was it????
I have come to realize that the shade in Jonah, and now in Isaiah, is a comparison about where I have been and where I am. As is reflective in Isaiah 4:4-6, God has literally been cleaning me out. Physically, my symptoms are lessening or have completely gone away. The filth of this cancer in my bone marrow has been cleansed by the Rituxan. From a spiritual perspective, I now understand that the shade is about God’s protection of me at all times, regardless of my circumstances or how things may appear to the visible eye. And as Kris said to me, “Colleen, the Lord knows how life has burned you and scorched you by the shaded shadows of darkness, and that is your past, but now He wants you to refocus on the shade of His protection, His provision, and His shelter.”
The word shade is defined by Webster as comparative darkness, which is caused by an object cutting off rays of light. It can also be an open area that is sheltered from sunlight, or it can be a secluded place, or a spirit.
From a spiritual perspective, I now see how those symptoms from 18 months ago were reflective of the darkness that is in this world that wants to cut me off from experiencing the light of God. I now realize that the part I overlooked in Jonah was the part where Jonah wants God to kill him. That is a pretty dark place to be in and God’s light can seem very dim. Here is what I did not recognize about myself, prior to my diagnosis of cancer. There have been times in my past when I have said that I am ready to die. It wasn’t out of anger or not getting my way like Jonah, but the feeling was still being expressed. I apologized to God and said, “Please forgive me for the times when I said that I was ready to die, or when I joked and said, You can take me at any time!” I now know that I am ready to die from the spiritual perspective of knowing Jesus, and knowing I am going to be with Him when I leave this earth. But, when I made those comments, it was because I was operating from a physical and fleshly perspective, I wanted to escape any further pain or suffering, just like Jonah. I too was tired of being burned and scorched.
“The Lord is your shade on your right hand”. When studying these words I found them in Psalm 121:5 and I thought about God always being beside me, like my Body Guard. He is my power, my strength, and my shield at all times! Nothing can harm me! He is my shelter and my protection. Nothing can separate me from Him!
Here is the truth about what I have learned about myself. I am ready to die, but I still want to live. I still want to experience ALL that God still has for me. Cancer is one of those words that immediately turns our thoughts towards death when we hear it spoken. For me, when I now hear it or speak it, I want to hear and speak life! Shade has a new meaning for me. It means life and it means that I picture God at my side as my personal Body Guard!
This picture was taken by my friend Melissa as we were resting and bathing in the warm fall sun. I was so surprised when we viewed the picture she had taken. It was depicting this week’s theme about shade and a reminder to me of Psalm 121:5, “The Lord is your shade on your right hand.” I thank You, Lord, for being so visibly present in my life through Your Holy Spirit!
1 comment:
Momma, I just LOVE this post, and may I say, you look GOR.GEOUS! Love you!
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